Nice try 3 letter guy.

Instead have a story about somebody I know that's pretty plausible.
So this guy was my roomie and apparently he liked sneaking around past bedtime.

One day this dude just straight up knocks on the window in the middle of the night so he could climb in.
Apparently he got out via the fire ladder from a window on the top floor, which is normally locked but got past using a lockpick.
Turns out the supervisor on duty actually noticed and relocked that window while he was outside and somehow didn't get caught while breaking out or attempting to break in. Apparently it was all just for a pack of cigarettes.

How that guy never got into trouble is beyond me.