all 3

Bread— picks it up and butters it.

Bread but only wonder bread. Very soft😁

Carrot?

Leave my bum alone, Dingus. Feed the birds with the bread and find a good dog for the steak.

Bread, as long as it isn't stale. Yikes.

I guess pretty much any fruit is probably going to suck the most, so that's out, I think the bread depends on whether we're talking a nice crusty baguette or Wonder bread, I feel like that matters...I think the steak is out too, that would pretty much be like a slap on the ass, which is no fun (at least in this context) OK I think even the baguette is better than any fruit or steak, so I'm saying bread, final answer

Bread, it's the softest and sometimes I can feel its aura when it's next to me and it feels really wholesome.