Let's say you've been knowing someone and after several dates, you realize you really feel attracted to them (in all senses). In your last date, they let you know your feelings are returned BUT they also confess that they're into BDSM. What would you do?
Assuming that didn't make me fall out of love with them, I'd probably tell them there's no chance I'll be doing any BDSM with them (well, not in those words--I'll tell them I'm not interested in BDSM) but maybe if I thought that could be a deal breaker I'd add that I'm okay with open relationships so if they want to be in a relationship and do BDSM with someone else that's okay.
Let's do it, It's just one aspect of their personality. My safe word is coconut 🥥 🤣
"Oh? Jesus, I thought you were going to say you're really into summering at Martha's Vineyard or something. Don't scare me like that."
BDSM is a wide field. Very wide. It reaches from tickling with lolly pops to whipping with wet leather. In between there might be some areas of quite normal things that you liked already and never thought of as BDSM. So as an adult you should try to communicate what areas of interest are exactly meant by BDSM. If it were me, I'd be interested to see what we might have in common. And maybe if there is some really common ground I like. If not, well nobody is perfect.
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