Anonymous asked 4 months ago

Can I cultivate a stronger will for domming or switching with partners. I'm very sensitive and they tend to use my concern for them to walk all over me.

I think the first, best advice I would have is that you should talk to your play partners about this! It's real easy for people to get caught up in the play of power dynamics, especially if they aren't used to dealing with kink outside of that framework. If what you want is a chance to dom interrupted, then you may need to ask for their cooperation. It doesn't fit the fantasy so much, but in my opinion that always comes second.

Other than that, if the problem is specifically your concern (which is not a bad problem to have, imo!), one thing that I've found helps is being able to trust your partners to communicate when you should be concerned. If you establish clear safewords, and other consent frameworks, then your partners will have ways of telling you that they're having problems during play. As long as you can trust them to use those frameworks, you can be as domineering and controlling as you like. Taking some time to reaffirm any procedures you've set up with people before getting into play might help ease your worries.

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