You're an elf looking for a shelf.

Nicole said I'm a man. Some other person said I'm stupid and some other said I do not like people, I only like myself. And again somebody said

if I carry on the same way I'm gonna have it hard in my life.

That sounds like me 😏 maybe we're the same person.

When people ask me directly what I am, I answer: a witch. I think that that is closer than the other answers.

Maybe you're a turkey, hence why your chicken holds such animosity with you.

Not bad, but nobody was after me for Thanksgiving roasts yet. And the age of tender flesh is behind me now, so it's useless, better find a young turkey.

You mean your goose has long since been cooked ;)

Hm .. is that a saying?

Yes, although I take some liberty with it.

.. and the subtle meaning of that saying is...?

Phrase. goose is cooked. (idiomatic) All hope is gone; there is no possibility of success; the period of good fortune is over. You're done. No second chances.

In German that would be (slightly colloquial) 'Der Drops ist gelutscht'. The drop has been sucked.

Sucked? Cough drops?

Sweets.

Oh, I think a Tootsie roll pop is more appropriate then ;)

Yep.