I'd ask one question, with three parts: "Do you think I'm cute, and do you even want a cute gf, or are you okay with looking like you're not a shallow prick?"

First of all, what the fuck?

how many skin cells have I shed during this lifetime

Where you at

Give me the cheat code to my life- i know we all make mistakes but all I've ever wanted was the purpose to it all. Plus... As years go by life seems to dip around every other corner.

Am I shao khan ?

Why the fuck did you put men in charge?!

Why the kidney stones? Did they really have to be a thing?

Are you a psychopath?

'Under what criteria would you step in to punish or help humanity?'

I'd ask the big why.

What does it take to have complete, unconditional peace?

I'd ask him what will happen with me after I die if anything.

ugh I don't want or need him gassing on about whatever, he can keep it - unless he's going to fix things