tw ed /

the ed part ooug.. i love your idea of t0ny forcing s4p to do affirmations. he thinks its stupid but t0ny makes him stand in front of the mirror and wont let him leave until he repeats every single word, some days are easier but others.. s4p gets frustrated and stubborn telling t0ny how he hates him for treating him like a kid. recovery is tough for s4p but t0ny is so patient.. other times s4pn4p sobs telling t0ny he's sorry for snapping at him, he's just so tired of everything. those days are rough for the both of them, t0ny wishing he could take away all of s4ps pain.. he's used to eds from his different cilents but he's never this directly involved other than changing meal plans, it doesn't help that t0ny legitimately cares about n1ck as well. one day while cleaning s4ps apartment while s4p was out getting groceries (t0ny claimed it 'exposure therapy, s4p thought it was stupid but agreed anyways) he stumbled upon n1cks journal. he remembered s4p showing it on stream, saying that its his idea book so he flips through some pages, smiling over how creative his boyfriend is until he reaches the back, there's a page where s4pn4p wrote down something that definitely wasnt content ideas. 'i know getting hate is a part of content creation but i try so hard to be likable, i dont know what’s wrong with me? i asked my friends and they all say oh you're doing great but whenever I go live it feels like more and more people just watch to pick out my flaws, i haven't felt this insecure since high school.. I wish I could be someone people wanted' t0ny frowns and flips to the next page 'i relapsed.. i haven't made myself sick since high school, i forgot how disgusting it felt afterwards but i also feel lighter.. it's definitely a placebo or whatever the fuck its called, but it feels nice.' t0ny shuts the book quickly and pockets it in his hoodie. he waits for s4pn4p to come back home. when s4p walks through the door he watches him put groceries down on the table along with the list he was given with a frown, he definitely didn't get everything but t0ny was proud of his effort regardless. he pulls s4p into his chest and sways them side to sidd gently and kisses his head telling him he missed him, he smiles how s4p practically melts at his touch. they stay like that for a couple minutes, t0ny feels mi10 running around his legs and being mischievously as always before he carefully steps back from s4pn4p, s4p frowns at the sudden loss of contact and turns around, eyeing the leather book in t0ny's hand. "h-how did you find that.." his voice is as defensive as it is nervous and it breaks t0nys heart. "i found it while cleaning.. n1ck..–" and before s4pn4p can say anything else s4p starts crying, saying he wrote everything before he fainted at the gym that day and he's sorry that he's such a burden on t0ny, how he didn't sign up for any of this shit and was just supposed to be his cook but now he has to deal with his bullshit. t0ny pulls s4pn4p into his arms hushing him and stroking his back, admitting at firsf he was hesitant about working for him but he wouldn't change a thing and that they'll get through this together. after a nap he makes s4pn4p rip the pages out of his book and crumple them up before throwing them away.
(i have an idea that s4pn4p starts relapsing in other ways too 🤭 i love angst sorry)

for the first ask, t0ny starts taking notes on different foods that s4pn4p enjoys, planning out nights where they cook with each other for fun, s4pn4p calls him an idiot for it but they are definitely his favorite nights, even ending his streams early on those days because he's so eager to spend time with t0ny. their 'relationship' crosses the boyndary of worker/employee pretty fast after maybe 3 weeks? s4p genuinely looking at t0ny as more of a friend/crush than some guy who technically works for him, s4p bends a lot of 'rules' (theyre not real rules) for t0ny because fuck it why not, who's going to call him out for it? he's the boss. in a month he's begging t0ny to move in with him because "it'll save him gas" and definitely NOT because s4pn4p was feeling lonely in his apartment no siree, t0ny couldnt resist his puppy eyes and moved in about 2 weeks. one night they were watching a movie together and s4pn4p, tipsy brings up how he was watching cat videos with his viewers and how he and t0ny should adopt and t0ny spits out his drink in disbelief. s4pn4p giggles at t0ny choking over the words 'adopt' as if they were talking about a human ((although i do like the idea of n40mi and mi10 being their adopted human kids.. maybe a different au LOL)) and tells t0ny how he's always wanted another cat after leaving his family pets at his hometown.. thus mi10 and n40mi enter the picture and t0ny absolutely adores watching s4pn4p interact with them, constantly taking pictures and videos of him petting them and playing with them while s4pn4p is distracted, taking pictures of n40mi sleeping on s4pn4p while s4p is taking a nap. t0ny didnt think he could fall more in love with s4pn4p but alas..

its about 2 months of them living together and suddenly s4pn4p seems like he's avoiding t0ny, which is unusual for s4pn4p.. t0ny is confused because he thought they were basically friends at this point.. hell, t0ny moved out of his sister's house to live with him, why the fuck does he seem so nervous to be around him? s4p stopped their little cooking sessions, claiming hes too tired from stream, tells t0ny to leave dinner outside his door nowadays. t0ny gets frustrated and decides to confront s4pn4p one day, trapping him in the kitchen and asking s4pn4p what is his issue. s4pn4p mumbles under his breath and t0ny barks out to spit it out and s4pn4p yells, angrily "it's you, asahole!!!" and a flash of hurt etches t0ny's face for a second before he turns on his heels, about to storm into his room to pack his shit and leave but s4pn4p grabs his arm and holds him back, t0ny turns his head and glares at s4pn4p but before he can say anything, s4pn4p whispers. "im in love with you." t0ny's face falls and s4pn4p squeezes his eyes, readying himself for rejection, but instead, t0ny kisses him. he gasps into t0ny's mouth before kissing back and they stumble into s4pn4ps room, trying hard not to break the kiss. t0ny eases s4pn4p onto the bed and hovers over him, admiring his hair thats finally not trapped in a stupid hat and smiles "this is wrong, you know." and s4pn4p laughs before saying "i don't care." they kiss again until theyre breathless, and t0ny pulls away, giggling over s4pn4p whining at the loss of contact. he's panting, looking at blown out green pupils. "what's your name, baby, because i refuse to call you s4pn4p while we're having sex" and s4pn4p covers his face with his hands, laughing at how t0ny killed the mood, which makes t0ny giggle as well. he loves how carefree s4pn4p is , how he's so shy yet so bold, he's glad he accepted this stupid job. after s4p finally calms down , he breaks the moment of silence with a whisper. "n1ck." and t0ny smiles before kissing s4pn4p again. :] -🐈‍⬛
//sorry for the long ass ask lol