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jayfam · 19h

your jaemle destroyed me more than any other of your fics. more than most fics. it’s so different from anything i’ve read from you i’m at a loss for words. i’ve read a lot of fics with this premise but never one quite so bleak and painful and frustrating in the most beautiful way. it should be so simple and easy this thing between them but it very much isn’t. just wow. if it’s not too bold of me to say i genuinely feel like your writing has leveled up with this one and this is some of your best chenle characterization.

i had two questions if you don’t mind: would you ever reveal what eventually happens to them, assuming obviously there are no plans for a sequel since the open ending tag, and do you think you would have written it so like helpless if it was another chenle ship? i ask because it really felt so impossible despite the reveal and the holding back felt so innate to jaemle and a running theme i sense in their fics despite how especially affectionate jaemin is to chenle irl. i don’t know. like with another chenle ship and this same plot obviously it’d be different because it’d be a different relationship but i feel like this exact same fic with mark or jn for example wouldn’t feel quite so impossible or bleak. for how silly jaemle is there’s something so hard to reach about them.

anyway thank you so much for posting it. i will be thinking about it for a very long time. you’re seriously an amazing writer.

wow this is a really great ask 🥺 saying my writing has levelled up is genuinely such a crazy compliment it means so much to me. i feel like i struggle to write sadder, angstier fics more than any other genre, and it's something i've been working really hard to improve on. i think i get better with every fic that i write, but i'm not usually happy or satisfied with what i post... the fact that you think this is one of my best chenles means that all the practice and all the writing i do is paying off :')

as for your questions, i want to put this out there first: when i write fics, i very rarely thing of sequel stories/what happens after largely because i get more satisfaction reaching a contained conclusion within the realm of the story than i do reaching a conclusion for the individual characters, if that makes sense. if we're getting specific to veiling glare, the reason i didn't write jaemle becoming a couple is because the story was ultimately exploring what singular isolated night feels like when you take care of someone you love. in the fic's "tomorrow", jaemin's still going to be in love with chenle, and chenle's still going to be in the closet, because that's just who they are. the story doesn't necessarily ask them to be anything more than two girls that like each other a little too much. neither jaemin nor chenle's actions or thought processes predicate on a need to be with the other. jaemin has already come to terms with her feelings, and chenle needs to reckon with her sexuality before she considers how she feels for jaemin. and both those facets are explored, therefore the fic is concluded to me

now that aside, after reading your ask, i did give it some thought while spinning around in my desk chair, so here's that. what happens to them after this...hmm. what i can say with confidence is that jaemin never says anything, and donghyuck doesn't rat either. if i were to write a second chapter, i would say chenle has sex with another girl just to test her sexuality, realises she's thinking about jaemin the entire time, and that's how all the puzzle pieces properly click into place in chenle's head. chenle tags along with jaemin to a gay club (she poses it as straight girl wants to go to lesbian club so she doesn't get harassed by men), and she sees jaemin coming onto another girl, so she tries to intervene. at the club, they make out, then jaemin stops them entirely, and brings them back to their apartment. maybe they have sex, or maybe they keep making out, i'm torn on that. but they wake up and jaemin immediately regrets it. when jaemin tries to shut chenle out in a reversal, chenle gets pissed. they argue about it at some point. and what happens after, i really really really don't know, you can make a happy ending for them if you want lol

this fic was originally based on a drabble where someone else picked the ship, so i didn't exactly consider what they would be like in different pairings. however, the nature of jaemin and chenle within the fic itself are quite...volatile. like jaemin hated her "relationship" with donghyuck and she fumbled that first date with jeno, because jaemin within the story is self destructive and self sacrificing as a result of her one-sided feelings. i think (meta) jaemin will always be a little self destructive and self sacrificing tho. and with chenle in the fic, she's almost too secure in who she is that the threat of her fluid sexuality against her personality makes her shut down and reject that, which i think is true to chenle and all the chenles i write. chenle is confident and self assured, so when something challenges his own perception of himself he can bite back pretty harshly about it (just think of all the times a dreamie has mentioned x thing about chenle and he immediately denies it bc it's not in line with how he perceives himself). these aspects wouldn't change if this fic had been written with a different ship, so i don't necessarily think that jaemle made it extra tragic or doomed

that being said, chappell roan good luck babe aside, what really appeals to me about jaemle is how different they are. not necessarily in an opposites attract way, but the way they process and the way they understanding their emotions are so so different from each other, it makes the way they immediately clicked into the shenanigans they are now so much more fascinating to me. that aspect of at their core, chenle and jaemin are absolutely different in the way they express their emotions (chenle lays them all bare, with all their ugly edges, whereas jaemin prunes and picks and pretties them up so the person on the other end can't see the ugly parts) is so easy to bend into something sadder, heavier, and i've always wanted to write a messy jaemle fic. between all the chenle ships, i think jaemle and chenmark are the most fun to write truly messy for me.

this was a reaaaaallly long answer but i hope i satisfied some of your curiosity! thank you so much for this ask, and i'm glad you're thinking about them so deeply. cos now i'm also thinking about them very deeply wow. i hope i keep writing and keep improving :)

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