my teeth

Every time I pee, I look down at my stomach and notice that, in the front of the bulge, the left side of the very front seems to protrude slightly more than the right side. It bugs me. But not as much as it bugs me to have a fat stomach to begin with. I think other than that my body is symmetrical, with the possible exception of my balls, but I don't care about that.

Bewbs, feet.

I have three balls.

Everything. Boobs are lopsided, different shoe size, right profile uglier than the left, you name it.

My nose has a slight S-shape watched from the front. So the symmetry is lacking. And my boobs are different in shape and slightly also in size. Nothing to complain about though.

My balls?

None. It's avant-garde, I'm a fragmented composition. It's a stylistic choice. It's rarefied in taste, not everyone will get it. Don't stifle my art with concepts like "beauty" and "speaking concisely or at least comprehensively."

My booty, I think it happened in the hospital, they stole half my booty 😭