ah thank you so much, i'm glad it resonated! yeah, the 'needing canon basis' stuff is soooo true, and i tend to be of the opinion that it really Does kind of ruin the fun of rps-rpf. my oomf always says it's about the Situations, which is sooo true. and for me i just kind of go based on vibes or chemistry or Potential, but i don't think xyz ship is realer than another, or so. and like, at the end of the day we Really Don't Know Anything, we're all making our dolls kiss (though i am inclined to think bnb have something going on for real lmao, but i digress, even then the point still stands)!

don't get me wrong though i think it's fun to put on the tinfoil hat sometimes but there's time and place and most importantly Boundaries. jebes Love playing into things sometimes and they're also such a tightly-knit group, i think that's really cool as long as it remains fun and people don't get too serious. i've had people in mine (and my friends', but those stories are not mine to tell) inboxes just completely picking apart at mine and other ships, or complaining that xyz isn't feeding their 'government ship', or straight up coming to report to me that people are mad at matthew specifically for xyz rps-related reason. or i've seen people saying they can't watch group content or other duos if their ship isn't interacting or paired? idk, it's pretty odd to me... not to mention how awful some of these circles are (and how awful 'consumers' are to the people who create content for their ship, but that's something else) even at a surface level. AND JUST LIKE, SHIP WARS TOO. people get too fucking brave and are toooo fucking vile, about the members as well. idk, it's so fucking dumb.

for the fishing for 'clues', i think hao gets a kick out of being insane and having fun with it and honestly a chunk of these post-its or whatnot, i don't mind them That Much and they're there to have fun with but only if they are within line. i've seen some really weirdly bordering on (or, at times, straight up) overstepping stuff being thrown around as well, so yeah. it doesn't surprise me some members get hate because of it... but that's devastating nonetheless...

also i'm really sorry to hear that you feel that way! T_T this place is supposed to be one where you can have fun freely and enjoy yourself, but i do kind of feel like things have been pretty bad in jebe rps spaces in general lately. my own insecurities and qualms aside i think i Am enjoying my time here though, but i also think i got really, Really lucky. there's days i feel deeply miserable too, not going to lie, but i think i've been able to curate my experience here pretty well for the most part. i have long-time friends from different fandoms who helped me feel at ease here when i first made this account and introduced me to some of their own friends. just finding people through other people really helps, i guess? i also started out on here as a locked account with bnb as my otp but i became a maettael main quite quickly, and talking about them and writing for them and putting myself out there as their fan has been great, and i've met really great people because of it. i really think the writing aspect really helped, tbh. but it's funny because i'm terrible at forming connections lmfao.

but yeah, i really think that's it in short; i got lucky — with the people i already knew and with having a ship that loves being shipped and who i love creating for and talking about. even maettael not having a really big community makes me lucky in a way because that's kind of what makes it very chill and drama-free and fun (most of the time)!! i reckon it might be harder for bnb though (and i naturally kind of drifted from those spaces but part of it Was deliberate, ngl) because even in that space there's so many sub-divisions. i guess the key is putting yourself out there. with love and with sincerity, too. which is sooo much easier said than done, of course. but there is definitely a place here for everyone and you sound like a lovely (and sensible) individual and i'm sure there's plenty of likeminded people around!! 💗 i don't really wanna, like, Recommend My Oomfs unprompted (but they're more than welcome to offer themselves up if they read this far, hehe) but yeah i have no doubt that there are lovely people out there that you'd click amazingly with!! i'm sorry if this doesn't help at all or if this is really jumbled but either way i'm sending you positive vibes and i truly hope your experience on here gets better, because everyone deserves to have a nice time and to have fun on here!!! ♡