A tiny cube with a view of sea and coast.

All I care about is a huge, spacious kitchen with lots of counter space, literally the only thing I will not negotiate on

One that is mortgage and tax free and renovates itself.

A mansion that's just shaped like Gooey Louie's head, and I live in the nose and pretend to be a booger all day

Built on a large property. Big bathrooms, big bedrooms, big closets. Amazing, spacious kitchen. Large attic and basement.

Loft apartment with a skyline or a penthouse atop a skyscraper. I don't care for quiet suburban homes.