Arman · 8 answers · 4y

Do you sometimes use sexist phrases like "Don’t be a pussy" or "Grow some balls"? I sometimes see even women use them. Are these phrases sometimes considered 'not sexist'? Can you give me some examples when it's OK to use them?

It depends on the cultural context. In my culture you would not use those terms, not in earnest, not as a joke, only maybe as a reference to the culture where it is used. The meaning of those terms is always connecting socially unwanted behaviour with physical properties of the body of the addressed individual. This has a sexist and racist and dismissive component. From my point of view any person outside of the context of sarcastic comments, comedy, stand-up comedy and such using it only shows what a miserable undergraduate person of uneducated standard that person is. That sort of slang is used often by young persons struggling with growing adult, insecure, childish and socially inapt. it is aggressive speech intended to make the addressed person small, worthless and a victim. Basically it is also copied by adults of little understanding and insecure sexuality used for the same purposes. In that case it is even worse, since the talk is coming mostly from adolescent youngsters who are insecure and the copy is used by a full grown up adult who by using this marks the fact that he/she/it is still somehow not grown up, still in struggle with finding a responsible place and a responsible social position. Also it from there has infiltrated many social groups that use it to segregate themselves from others by language, behaviour and looks. They all share a tendency to use aggressive talk to people outside their group making use of abusive speech, dismissive wordings and various sexist and racist terms. By insulting and abusing others, especially weaker regarded persons and groups, they try to achieve a higher self confidence and worth and regard among their peers. Since women rank low on their scale to compare a man with the sexual organs of a woman is the worst insult. Though those male persons doing it need women as trophies to maintain their social status quite often. So in any case the use of such terms is either a mindless adolescent insult, a sign of an insecure adult or group speech or a well intended insult against one of these using their own miserable terms. With the exception of the latter it fires back on the user of those terms and shows that the user is not the rough, tough, hard boiled hero, but a sad asshole. Since the talk of inapt youngsters is now part of the culture such terms lose more and more their original meaning and now softened down to make them be used under general talking terms among good mates and such. Since Trump such terms also enter the sphere of official language. But it still is only used from top to bottom. As an alien you never are allowed to say this to anybody, while the people who created it may direct that sort of language against you either as an insult, as a joke, as a means of expressing that you achieved accepted group membership or such. But be aware it still is used from top to bottom. Never the other direction. In which case it regains its old meaning as an insult quite quickly.

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