"I do not need to write that down."

"I'll fold these later"

I'm not going to fold shit IRL. I'm going to keep putting on wrinkled ass clothes until it's time to wash them all again

I always want to start studying English grammar but I almost never did. Also I've been meaning to start reading one of the many books I bought in the last two years but my lazy ass always gets in the way.

It's okay to drink 63738383oz of mountain dew a day, it'll make you stronger. You might even get powers

"Think I'll just have a salad for lunch"

Don’t cheat myself

That's mine too, I am ALWAYS going to put gas in the car in the morning when I have to go in, but then I forget about the part where I wake up with like 30 seconds to spare to be on time, and then I'm like OK I can make it in, and I will go in the afternoon on the way back but then it's 5:42 PM and I really just want to get home and get drunk and then it's like 9 and I really shouldn't be driving in this state and so the cycle resumes until I'm on a roadside somewhere waiting for a ride

I will clean up my office desk as soon as I enter the room! Yeah! Then I arrive and sit with my new PA and talk things through and then in my boss' office and then it is noon....

Lmaoo, funny you should say that bc I filled up my car this afternoon to avoid doing it tmrw morning. Biggest lie is probably that "I'll work on it when I get home." when I arrive home after a day of work, I am ready to relax. only time I actually work on stuff at home is if I truly do not have the time to do it at work

I don't look fat:)

I'm not sure if there's a lie I tell myself on a regular basis. I try not to lie to myself. If there is, then it's probably that I'm doing the right thing by doing nothing.