Qafka · 10 answers · 4y

Do children need a father and a mother in order to have a healthy upbringing?

No, I don't think the gender or number of your parent(s)s guarantees a healthy upbringing. I think a child needs at least one loving, reliable, alert, and informed caregiver who wants to be a parent and makes them feel safe, as well as access to quality healthcare and education from other adults who are trustworthy.

Yes, children need a father and a mother. More specifically, kids need a good father and a good mother. Kids can survive with just one parent but they'd be better off having both. Having a good father and good mother is ideal.

No. I don’t think so. I think when my husband’s dad left him and his mother, it was probably for the best. I think he might have been a very different person had his father been around to influence him. His mother was always a very strong and stable influence for him, although things weren’t always the best financially.

If father or mother can do both jobs at the same time then no. It is difficult to really manage a healthy upbringing for a child and most of the time, we don't have that going.

Having a father and a mother doesn't mean you have a healthy upbringing. Almost nobody has a healthy upbringing in today's society, because most people don't make good parents. The nuclear family is just a model that came about (I think in response to the industrial revolution?), it's not how people were meant to be raised. Children were meant to be raised by the whole society, particularly the elders. THAT's how you have a healthy upbringing.

I think what children need more than anything else are stability and security, they should ideally be able to see those things in relationships as well, whether it's cis-het or otherwise...kids pick up what they see, for better or worse - one who spends 20-ish years around loving caring adults is going to pick that up

Nope. What kids need is at least one loving parent/guardian for a healthy upbringing. Sometimes that love isn't there even if you have two parents.

No. Economically speaking a two-income household is a better environment to raise children in, but it doesn't take into account the parents themselves. Domestic violence and abuse still occur in those situations.

And this notion that single parents can't raise children properly is false. I've known plenty people who grew up without a father or mother (there's usually a good reason for it) and they turned out fine.

No, they need parents with a healthy relationship. Straight couples have produced plenty of unhealthy upbringings and I can personally attest to that.

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