I love sports and sports love me.

What Alice said. I recently finished watching Friends for the third time.

my dorsal fin

I shower every day? I go to work and pay bills? I put my pants on one leg at a time?

Relatively normal, to me that is.

When I would say I'm normal I would assume everybody is as weird and lunatic as myself. I'm too normal to assume that!

I put my clothes on in the intended direction.

My blood pressure

I followed "Friends" faithfully and just watched the reunion special.

i take massive shits

My breathing