Do you use tinder or any dating apps in general? If so what's been your experience on them?
I was on OKCupid for a couple months. It was right after I came out as trans. At the time they just allowed people to state they were straight, bi, or gay and there were not a lot of trans people on it at the time. So, I said I was bi. I had no idea how to approach messaging people because I had no idea who would and wouldn't be offended just by my presence if I tried to interact with them. I was scared to message gay cis women (and none of them ever messaged me), so I messaged a few bi cis women. None of that turned out, most of them were nice tho. Two of them told me they thought we could be good friends. The whole friend thing didn't turn out either, though, they never responded to me again. Mostly I got lots of messages from dudes that fell into three categories, verbal abuse, ignorant questions, and novice fetishists. The verbal abuse ranged from mild to h o l y p h u q u e, s o n. The guys who sent it also seemed to fall into three categories: guys who looked at the thumbnail of my picture and thought I was ugly and wanted to tell me so, guys who looked at the thumbnail of my picture and thought I might be OK until they learned I was trans by READING my profile, and guys who had not read my profile and didn't realize I was trans (somehow) so they would start civil conversations with me and then flip out when they did read my entire profile. I thought I might avoid this last type of person if I made "I'm trans" the first thing I said about myself on my page. Doing that felt sort degrading. I didn't do it originally because there are more important things to say about myself, I thought. I didn't want it to seem that I was advertising that as a feature, rather than just as a fact. I was looking for people who would feel the same, too. I deleted shortly after that.
Nah, a few years back I was on OKCupid, it was an OK experience and one girl even achieved girlfriend status...when we broke up I went back on there for a while but the experience went downhill a little - I was matching 98% with people who wouldn't talk to me and having a fun time with some who were hovering around 70% and I realized those Poindexters aren't really hitting it for me with their numbers... I decided I was going to start approaching in real life 1) to get the physical/meeting part out of the way immediately, and 2) to let natural chemistry take over (or not, whichever)
Yea I have plenty in the past. For the most part, most people I talk to on there are duds, as in: most people don't respond, and the ones that do, you may end up talking for a few days but then one of you stops talking forever. I've met a bunch of people in-person just once and then never saw them again because one of us just wasn't that interested once we saw how we interacted irl. I have dated one person for 6 months (met off tinder) and another for 5 months (met off bumble), and the girl I'm dating now is one I met off of bumble (6 dates in). Overall I would say it is hard to find someone you jive with on there because there are so many people, but once you do, there is usually at least a friend worth keeping.
I feel like my dating app experience has been better compared to most people's tho because lesbians and queer women in general are a LOT nicer on there than, say, straight men.... I've also definitely used the apps to just have sex but women are not predatory & aggressive about it compared to what I've heard from my friends who date men on the apps
There is a dating app for lesbian girls called "Her" I did look into. I have no experience with Tinder. "Her" is ..well... too less european for my taste and purpose.
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