gold, toilet paper, ammunition, and shelf stable food.

For a start prepare before a crisis

noooo talking about protecting money even here nooooooooooooooo

Buy a bunch of iPhones that have flappy bird installed

A lot of rich people in Spain and Greece converted their life savings into Bitcoin as a hedge against inflation in 2008. I don't trust cryptos AT ALL but it seems like a viable option in the short term.

Put it right up my ass

Invest heavily in canned oysters, gonna be good as gold one day, mark my words

Im tempted to start investing in stocks but I'll have to do my research first

I'd invest in timeless treasures such as personal education, precious metals and materials, real estate if you're really loaded.

Buy a bunch of gold in small pieces. That I physically have. In a safe. But then, if I lose my house I may wish I had that bank account..

Honestly, we should be spending a little more than normal where we can at the moment - it'll help restart the economy. Obviously no need to by shit, but you shouldn't be frightened to spend in a recession - it'll only make it last longer.

All in Bitcoin. What could go wrong?

Doing this when a crisis is there is almost impossible. You can plan ahead of any crisis and try to invest it wisely into various things. There is no real safety but that increases chances for some of that money to stay with you.