I don’t even have Instagram……

I’d say something like, “What?! Get a life!”

Excuse me?

I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

What is an instagram, my fellow wench ?

Some of the content that you post I disagree with and I don’t think that I can trust myself to have a civil conversation with you about it online.

"Babe, I'm only on only fans".

"I don't unfollow anyone, maybe YOU unfollowed me and forgot and now are playing the victim card, psh take a picture it'll last longer." Then maybe I'd do a dramatic pose to drive the point home lol

"I liked one of your thirst trap pictures and my girlfriend locked down my account, sorry"

I was obviously jealous

LOL! Nice try!

"You've been.. #canceled"

I don't have Instagram.

I'd figure he's insane and try to reason with him: "I don't even know you, I never had you on instagram."