I don’t. I don’t feel right returning used products. Unless it’s defective. Is this dildo defective??? What’s wrong with it?

Hey man this thing doesn't fit in my tight little hole can i get something else?

I’ll pass. I wouldn’t be ok with that for many reasons.

I'd ask if they have anything roughly 12 times bigger as this one wasn't able to satisfy Chris Martinez's mom

Hey I bought this oddly shaped unicorn horn for my cosplay but it just won't stay on my head, so I am returning it and taking my business elsewhere.

I would have no shame, I march right in there and point to the Homewrecker 5000 and say I thought I was getting that one

Cleaned and disinfected and in the original package though opened for inspection. The battery seems dead!

I'd probably get more money for it on eBay

Those who dare to dare me don't live to tell about it.

"Hi, I need to return this dildo, my wife is done with it, she got a bigger one. She only used it 12 times, twice anally."