Yes. I love him AND SOMETIMEs, I even LIKE him. He essentially told me I'd be better off if I killed myself during what was one of the most emotionally vulnerable moments of my life, and oBVIOUSLy I'm not rEALLY over that or other shit, some if which is ONGOING, but still I believe he loves me. Also, my dad needs me. He needs me to love him, because ultimately very few people have given him the kind of love and support folks need in order to thrive. And I need to be the kind of person I needed him to be.