My favourite chore (if there is such a thing) would be loading the dishwasher. First, let me make one thing clear: my dishwasher-loading skills are legendary. Legendary. People go “You’re never going to get all that in there!” and I’m like “Ha! Watch and learn, my friend. Watch. And. Learn!” And then they’ll be all “Well the stuff won’t be cleaned properly!” and I just shake my head in ill-disguised pity as I effortlessly slide the colander into position. A couple of hours later it’s a very different story when they open the steaming appliance to find not only sparkling dishes - oh, no! - but no water lying in any of the places where water usually lies. Their look of disbelief closely followed by one of admiration. “It’s all to do with the angle...” I falter as they walk off in a huff. I have been known to rearrange dishwashers in other people’s homes, but it’s gotten to the stage now where people actually say things like, “I bet Penelope could get all that stuff in there.” My least favourite chore is ironing. I absolutely refuse to do it and pay a nice lady to take care of all mine.

Least favorite is the entire process of stripping bedding, washing it, and re-sheeting the bed. I'm a big goddamn privileged-sheet-owning baby about it. I just straight hate that shit. Even if it goes smoothly I am s u f f e r i n g all the way through it. Trying to carry the old bedding away from my room and the dog's tripping me the whole time, it's like I'm being punished. I was putting the sheets on my bed, and I put the mf fitted sheet on wrong and it oingo-boingoed off the corners like a dumb bitch and I had to say aloud, "is there anything more hopeless than this?" I've gone to put sheets on my naked bed and instead just crawled into it and sulked in the fetal position for like 8 minutes. My bed ain't even big. People do this for a king-sized beds? gtfo. Wish I didn't love having fresh af sheets on the bed.

I'm not sure what my favorite is tbh. I like scrubbing things, and I like sorting things.