Chunky posh boy wanka with a shit beard who needs to grow up and stop being fake

Nope. Its a smart game, and its an game that is easier to play well if you're intelligent. But I think you're a dummy if you think being a chess prodigy means you're an overall bright person.

I'm super into retaining competence. So about 3 years ago I've been on a mission to keep my skills razor sharp, I've now got 64 qualifications (granted some of them are me re-getting a qualification for competence sake).

A doggo...ideally one that could talk

I think I wanted two cocks... because...two hands....two holes... just seemed practical.

Would be nice to give someone a piece of my mind and see the fallout from it.

Mornings and Evenings and if its been quiet at work from home I might pop in at lunch.

I think I'd do ok, I wouldn't be able to shoot a gun well but I think I could launch a decent campaign to discredit James Bond and stop his employment :P

Kate

Proud to say its most often guests can drop by unannounced (only thing stopping that is me wearing a dressing gown or my hair looking dumb). Worst case scenario its 'just need to wash up some plates'.

Probably jealousy in a relationship. I very rarely let it surface and normally admit it before it manifests into something ugly... but I know i have to wrestle with myself not to be a dick about it. I could easily see me turn bitter and resentful from it though.

I don't know man... like everyone is going to go on holiday, and that'll make it annoying to go on holiday... probably get a car and visit some national parks and hang out with my friends... hopefully pop my born again cherry.

Talked to would be a conversation in my head... so David Mitchell.

I'm a bit of a whore when it comes to my love for food - I give it fairly freely. It would have to contain nuts, fruit (in savoury food), boney meat (I'm a choking hazard) for me to turn my nose at it.

Yup. Though I put them on a pedestal in my head... once the magic is gone... the attractiveness takes a dip.