⭐ frequently asked questions (favorite movies, books, etc):
http://xrafstar.monster/codex
⭐ serious weakness faq
https://xrafstar.monster/blog/serious-weakness-aftermath
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Nameless Grub · 4d
i fucking love the new game gonna go pre-atone so many times wahhhhh
Nameless Grub · 3d
Hello! New fan here and the eggs you've implanted in my brain are commanding me to draw fanart. Today's question is if you're alright with people making prints of fanart for personal display? Just wanted to be 110% sure.
My friend is also curious about if fanfic/transformative works are permitted. We are both thoroughly infested with eggs. Thank you and I hope you're having a good day!
Nameless Grub · 6d
i love your work and your presence on here i just want to know how r u doing? i get so worried abt grub lives;;;;;; ;-; ur book looks so good im so excited :3
aw, thanks for asking. i've been good. my body is always a little fucked but i’m hanging in there! the weather is warming up which is energizing for coldblooded vermin like me. been having really nice conversations with friends, and working on random experiments which is good for my chaos brain. we had vermont curry and i danced around…i dance all the time…in everything i do. have a nice day 💜🐛🐛🐛🌦️
Nameless Grub · 8d
just wanted to say i got SO excited when i read the perfect tense lore tidbit about him being very attached to his psychiatrist/handler. mentor relationships are the horneyest thing ever to me and so much media just brushes that aspect off or tastefully “sublimates” it (the coward’s way out). every “manipulated prodigy” type book movie whatever would be better with some pederastic nightmare jerkoff fuel. the guys in whiplash should have fucked. hannibal is untouchable. anyway i just have a strong suspicion that you will do me right with this one and i can’t wait. CTE has kept me VERY well fed also, love rubi so much, invert representation is so important. a “please like me” model student who is also a bad boy who has all the power and yet none?!?! STOPPPP
THANK YOU that's the MEAT right there UH HUH HAROOOO ARF ARF ARF
fortunately for you I'M ALL IN. “pederastic nightmare jerkoff fuel” is my MIDDLE NAME. and I know for a fact, the mentor angle is very important to the artists. I have been and will be WRITING THE SHIT out of it. ABA therapists will be taking notes!!
thank you for your faith in me...I have a novella in progress that is 100% about a guy and his handler and it will probably give you a very nice heart attack. I hope to start posting excerpts from it this year.
the guys in whiplash SHOULD have fucked. god!! Hannibal pristine, YUP.
Rubicon yessss, he’s so special…I tend to write characters who have this split self hovering over them...it’s the most interesting…new CTE this week probably! and it’ll be a scorcher…
Nameless Grub · 6d
i had a dream i came across torture works in a barnes and noble. all the other books surrounding it on the shelf took on a lumpy, saturated texture, with ribbed tubes and complex tissues sprouting out of their covers. i felt physically ill when i opened it, like a slime was building up in my larynx. the dream-people i was with were pressuring me to buy it. a rousing endorsement from my subconscious!
Nameless Grub · 10d
If you had the chance to do a Secret Lair release for Magic, which 4-5 cards would you like to re-illustrate?
Nameless Grub · 12d
heres a take had today which is that ftms and mtfs, in gay male spaces, have the ultimate solidarity, because we're both put into the pussyboy/ boywife category
its the inescapable label of the boyfail. one is eternally boyfail for trying to be a boy but having a pussy and teh other is eternally boyfail for wanting to be a girl. and theyre both expected to be the ones getting fucked
trianon is the mascot of both for this exact reason
Nameless Grub · 12d
I'm so sorry if this has been answered before!! But do you plan on having torture works as a pdf/epub? I want to read it so badly but I unfortunately live with people who won't be very comfortable with the cover. :(
Yes! I'm waiting for the layout department to finish the epub, then it will be on amzn, and on itchio w/ PDF. Meanwhile, subscribers to my patreon can get the PDF anytime.
For people living in sensitive environments, the cover can be painted with black paint, or creatively defaced in other ways, or ripped off and hidden under the mattress. And it contributes to the illicit, adolescent thrill. Thank you for playing <3
Nameless Grub · 27d
Oh also- how much do you read? Daily, weekly, whatever scale. I've been inquiring this for a lot of the people I respect. After a seizure I've struggled to read dense, meaningful text quite a bit. So I've been wondering how much this will cripple my want to understand the world and make art about my loving disgust for it
i read nonstop as a kid which gave me some stats. i read pretty randomly now. i can go months without reading a proper book, then read a bunch. movies and music are a much more regular fixation for me. it's hard to find books that i like. i tend to enjoy scifi horror or any kind of tense locked in scenario. or the stuff i need to write cuz i can't find it.
there is always a way to make art. it's like water. even if there are challenges, nothing can cut you off. but it feels really bad to have setbacks, and i'm sorry about the seizure. i've had a lot of physical issues, some that kept me from making meaningful things for years, and i had to learn to make things with my body, not against it. so the way people talk about art might not make sense for you, but there are infinite things you can discover for yourself. it's the process, and everyone has one.
Nameless Grub · 27d
can you elaborate on the "people play games to be punished" line? As someone heavy into game studies it doesn't really parse. A lot of your games, despite the flux between decisions and their consequences or lack of, feel almost revelatory in that agency at times. Games are inherently masochistic to a point, but I would think we can seek that masochism for reasons beyond punishment. or do i need to actually read Foucault to parse? but also ty for the amazing work porp
Nameless Grub · 20d
i never knew you were interested in writing dark fantasy until your tweet… your works have helped me untangle a lot of shit the world put in my head to make me try to be normal (ie kill everything that makes me myself). I connect somewhat with sci-fi and fiction in general, but honestly i’m not sure if i could handle a xrafstar dark fantasy bc that is my bread and butter… it would work too well and i would never be able to return to normal society. and i know u have good taste (fear n hunger, berserk ect) which makes me all the more filled with trepidation/horniness. need some morally compromised characters filled with impossible longing for something that vanished long ago from their broken world to cry and jerk off to 😭🐉🏰🐛🐛🐛🐎⚔️
I have some dark fantasy games and short stories (With Those We Love Alive, Soft Now) but yeah, a novella would be so killer. Fear and hunger, berserk, yessss. Hoping to share at least some fragments in the future...thank you for seeing the vision. If I ever pull it off, it'll be so fucking nasty. 🏰🐝👩👦👦
Nameless Grub · 18d
i think i remember in an earlier ask you mentioned that you didn’t rlly identify as trans, which both surprised me and didn’t surprise me… i think the current consensus among a lot of younger queer ppl of what trans means is ‘anything other than cis,’ but the word ‘trans’ still primarily conjures to mind images of people who transition in a binary way bc of its historical usage, which colors how it describes all sorts of nb ppl who have the term used on them without their consent.
i technically would call myself trans, but i’m pretty ambivalent abt the term. when i say ‘i’m trans,’ i feel like i’m setting into stone something that should be free to twist and change freely. it’s a bummer that there is no term in english to denote ‘does not subscribe to western frameworks of gender,’ and i guess the closest recognizable term would be like, agender? but that word literally has the word gender in it, and that’s what i’m trying to get away from… also it gives me negative vibes because of the prefix ‘a’. sends me back to science class (eew)…
after i came to grips with the fact that i wasn’t cis (according to commonly accepted societal definitions) the label ‘trans’ was very important to me. but now, if i don't have to interact with homophobia/transphobia in my environment, the primary way i interact with gender is for horny fantasy power dynamic purposes (lol) bc gender is so totally a power hierarchy and that’s pretty sexy if it’s on your own terms. i guess it’s ironic that when i’m surrounded by queer ppl, gender mostly becomes obsolete unless it’s a fun self expression thing, which kind of negates transness as a concept. when i’m in those environments the things that define my identity are more like, my traumatic background and how it impacts my relationships with others…. but there’s no 2024 indeitiy boutique label to curate myself with when it comes to that, so it stays a free flowing concept (probably better that way).
as you can probably tell i’m coming at this from the perspective of a young person (under 25) so i prolly see it differently from you. love your work 🪲💌📫
Yeah, it’s a word that has nothing to do with me. If I thought someone could know me as a fixed thing, I would destroy all connection to them. The pleasure I derive is the pleasure of a shapeshifter.
When I was younger, I allowed people to think of me whatever way they wanted as a business decision + the result of years of corrective sexual abuse. And the reaction I got when I finally asserted myself, reminded me why I let people do it in the first place. Some people want to kill the other pieces of me. But I am not X or Y, I am a spirit of love which possesses the world.
I would rather be thought of as a rank opportunist than trans, because at least opportunism contains within itself the essence of change. People thinking of me as a woman or a man isn’t a testament to anything but my skill at deception. And what could be finer?
But I don't judge others for the terms they use, it's all personal. I agree, it’s hard to “opt out” without “opting in”. I don’t wear other people’s dirty clothes unless I’m jerking off. "Horny fantasy power dynamic purposes" exaaaaactly. Based…waow…the hierarchies are so essential to what I write.
I'm glad things are becoming fluider. It makes me so happy to see, and I have received such kindness from younger people, who seem to really get the fluidity in my art. But there are people who understand in all times everywhere. Thanks for understanding, and thanks for the sweet letter! 🪳💌📫
Nameless Grub · 17d
i ended up with an extra copy of seriweak today so i left it in a free library. torture boys between the bibles and outdated cookbooks
Nameless Grub · 15d
hi ❤️ is there a place to read up on perfect tense's lore? i've seen the (really cool!!!!!) zine + new page but im wondering if more info has been shared or if we will have to wait for the game to be released... 💖
tell you what, just for you, I made a Lore button (scroll down). thanks for following our little adventure 💜🪳🪳🪳
Nameless Grub · 16d
hey, their head came off! and the top moving text overlay is ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE instead of PILLS PILLS PILLS!
ehheheh yeah
I have a new Perfect Tense page too!
thank you for visiting my web site... 🥹