phatassbabybanhammer

banhammer was a fatass fucking baby. windforce knew this for a fact, and also knew that the fat fuck absolutely ADORED the mcribs from mcdonald's, screaming and crying and wailing every time he caught sight of a mcdonald's but since the mcribs weren't a permanent menu item she had to quite literally haul the shrieking infant away from the house of ronald most days. on the occasions they brought back the limited item she brought banhammer in his stupid ass baby carrying thing on her chest and the fat fuck would behave upon hearing the words "can i get a mcrib" at the cashier, however this time was different. windforce walked into the mcdonald's with banhammer securely in the baby carrier and up to the cashier who happened to be darkheart sfoth. she was a bit surprised to see him working here but darkheart cut off any opportunity to ask questions with a "welcome to mcdonald's, the mcribs are back." and that sent off banhammer like a smoke detector when you burn eggs, howling like a banshee at the mere mention of his favorite meal in the whole wide world. his pitch was higher than any living being except the trees because they felt the vibrations in their leaves pick up. windforce didn't seem bothered in the slightest, only proceeding with the order of about 50 mcribs to which there was a yelp of terror from a minimum wage paid worker in the back that literally everyone ignored as darkheart rang up her order. "alright your total is going to be.. $289.23. will this be cash or card?" and windforce stared at him with the most blank dead expression ever and said "i'm not paying for this."
"what?"
"i'm not paying for this."
"bruh"
and then they got into a big argument, windforce yapping about feeding her fatass son and darkheart trying to get her banned from mcdonald's, but in all the commotion the straps of the carrier losened with windforce's ranting which allowed banhammer to wiggle out to the scent of cooking mcribs and no one noticed his fatass tumble and roll on the floor. he was able to crawl his way into the back and found fucking STARGAZER ROCKET ??????? working the grill. he turned to look at the cheese ball looking baby and had to do a mental double take, what the hell was a drooling infant doing in the kitchen of a mcdonald's... and then it started coming towards him. he was already on a stress high with the order of like 50 fucking mcribs and this drooling baby coming over to him with the menacing intent to eat them out of business was NOT helping!!! banhammer continued to advance, little grubby baby hands waddling on the disgusting floor of the mcdonald's until he was looking up at stargazer with a "bah" and stargazer just gave up and clocked out early, packing up and leaving but not really since he walked out past the arguing deities to cry in the mcdonald's bathroom for a while. this left fatass baby banhammer alone with a freezer full of mcribs, and this twelve ton tub of lard went for it. he ripped open the freezer door with power unseen by mankind before diving into the boxes of frozen meat and eating box and all. this absolutely gluttonous little thing ate everything in that freezer. he was found chewing on the iron racks by windforce after darkheart quit his job halfway through the argument. she dragged him out of the freezer with little resistance, fatty being content with devouring an entire location's supply of food. it was said they were supposed to be permanently banned but no one really did anything about that after the multi hour long yapping match with darkheart and banhammer still orders a billion mcribs to this day. he is the reason they still make them. god bless. 🙏.