Frankly I agree lol, unless you are a woman (in which case, yes, at least onee-lolι absolutely is "queer" regardless of whatever homoaffective etc etc form it takes) - the word "queer" has undergone a change as sexuality has become increasingly "disembodied", very literally, due to the interfacing between a screen experience of sex, on our phones computers etc. Hence according a recent study, 1 in 5 of self-identified lesbians had had sex with a guy (not talking about compulsive heterosexuality here lol), or one might identify as a "lesboy", a cis male who likes women "but in a lesbian way", and so on, all this is to say is that since sex has for the most part left the actual lived experience in the body, it has become increasingly a matter of interiority and how one relates to it feelings-wise, i.e. being a lesbian in the aforementioned case is less about the actual physical sex of f/f sex or homoeroticism and more about how one "feels" regarding women - are they lesbian feelings or straight feelings? Etc.

I do agree though that if you want to call lolιcon queer because of that, lolicon as queer from this disembodied lens, then yes, you are correct, we must call all 2D-complex otaku sexuality that - if that is okay with other people is up to me, personally, I don't "feel" (hehe) it is all that queer, I would say a lot of lolicon feels quite cishet, even vilely so, from both male and female angles (though the former is overwhelmingly more common lol) and that a lot of 2D-complex otaku sexuality is nothing but a disembodied experience of cishet sexuality, in which I see little that is queer, and more things that can be interpreted from queer lenses.

As for fujoshis, maybe back in the day but I don't know anon, to an extent I feel like being that into homoeroticism is queer - the comparison with how lesbian porn is male-oriented means very little because if you have ever seen any fujoism and any lesbian porn you know that the appeal of the two are very different lmao, one is not the distaff counterpart of another.