You are attending a crowded concert at a large venue when someone pulls the tag on your suit and you begin bashfully inflating in the middle of the crowd. The music stops and the band calls you out, instructing the crowd to hoist your fat ass up and crowd surf you towards the stage. A multitude of groping hands push against your inflated body while you tumble over the sea of concert-goers that hoot and holler about how impossibly huge your ass is. When you finally arrive on stage and are given the mic, how do you explain yourself?