This is gonna sound egocentric, but after all I've been thru...the most important person in my life is me. All my life I've been taking care of others..pleasing others' needs and forgetting about mine. I was always the last person of my own list. Til I got really depressed and mentally exhausted..and then I realized how lonely I was bc it didn't care how shitty I was feeling...People were still expecting me to solve their issues (bc that's what they were used to.Entirely my fault btw). So I had to make it alone. I learned no one's gonna come to save me or solve my stuff. They never have made things easier for me..if so, the opposite. So yeah...I better be the number one in my list bc I'm not the number one in anyone's list. It doesn't mean that I don't care about anyone anymore...it only means that I won't forget about myself anymore to please others and I won't ignore or sacrifice my own mental sanity for anyone else.