1) She's not ashamed of them but doesn't like what other people might assume, she doesn't want to be seen as attention seeking or weak. She doesn't like that she's lost sensitivity to light touch in most of the underside of her forearms though.

2) She's mostly "stable" until an incident, almost always relating to bad news about Vi, which has resulted in 2 suicide attempts. But she was generally in a bad place during those times too, when the separation was still fresh. Though she's seemingly past drastic spirals now she's not without psychotic incidents, they just tend to fly under the radar - the people around her will only think she's particularly moody or that they've done something to upset her, not realizing she is agitated by voices/thoughts that the people in her life are secretly trying to hurt her/etc. She does end up hurting people at times, usually emotionally but sometimes physically. Sometimes it passes without too much fuss other times it's bad enough for Silco to notice and take her in to be assessed/get medication adjustments/etc. (or he finds out she's been forgetting to take them at all lol). She finds her illness frustrating/depressing and occasionally feels that she doesn't have a future because of it.

It's hard for me to just ramble off the bat... I've been thinking more about Jen's delusions lately though. My most recent drawing is in relation to it. I don't want to say too much, but initially it was more of a background/implied thing but recently I've wanted to dive deeper into it, and the logic of the world she interacts with (or rather it's just her interpretation of her experiences). Elements like this make it very far away from where Sugar Pool started, as an AU, it changes the tone in a way I'm happy about. Though it might also make it a bit cliche, so not sure how I want to approach it to avoid those cliches.

Anyway, Jen will gladly tell you all about machine elves.

Mostly good, Silco is extremely religious and can be judgemental but he also has a very hands off parenting approach and kind of lets Jen do whatever she wants. He prefers her to make the "right choices" on her own and sees no value in forcing her to do things or behave in certain ways. Since he has a messed up past he sees himself in Jen and thinks she must simply go on a similar journey. He only gets more hands on when it comes to her health/safety and will criticize her for engaging in risky behaviors (that she doesn't successfully hide from him). But she still never gets grounded or anything, she probably should... but he's a big pushover when it comes to her.

She appreciates his love/support but also feels pressured to not disappoint him and be worth the trouble. It's self-afflicted, Jen sees herself as a burden, feels bad about her impulses to get into trouble. But to be worth his investment is one of her few motivations in life. Her mind can't wrap around the idea that he loves her unconditionally.

Their only point of contention is Vi. Silco always demonizes her and blames everything wrong with Jen on her, it can be annoying since Jen still loves/wants to be with her sister. She doesn't bother arguing against it but gets huffy.

Eventually everyone will have a new name/design. Like I've mentioned before I'll publish The Gap Years as an Arcane fic but after that I want SP completely dissociated, and I might reformat the fic into a VN (with bonus scenes).

It was always extremely loosely related anyway. Initially I wasn't sure how I felt about how to treat its Arcane/League roots, but with how much I dislike both the show and the fandom now there's really no reason to not completely remove it. But I'm doing it based on feeling... I don't want to force it. Jen's progression away from Jinx was very natural and I would like it to be that way for all the characters. So we're in an awkward transitional phase atm, not sure how long it will last.

Really I don't even look at Jinx and see Jen anymore, and vice versa. The attachment I felt transferring to my own oc is nice, I have coalesced with the pink opaque, I am free.

you dont seem weird ILU!!!! She started very young, during meltdowns in early childhood she would scratch/bite/hit at herself. Vi had to restrain her frequently to keep her from hurting herself. It was difficult for her to cope with her extreme emotional swings or when she is feeling terror at her own mind. She's still like this but at some point she transitioned to using a blade and the routine became more focused/calm instead of an erratic outburst; it's also an addiction. It's still usually to ground herself when feeling overwhelmed, but sometimes she seeks out the feeling/high of the pain. She is trying to recover from it and has phases of not relapsing. More frequently though she puts out cigarettes on herself out of habit/impulse, sometimes its hard to remember not to do it. All the arm bracelets she wears are supposed to help, but she'll just move them out of the way or do it in a different spot lol. The bracelets hide her scars but also hide her relapses. In adulthood she is mostly recovered with rare relapses. But she is arguably still self-harming, just in other ways...

As far as drugs she mainly smokes spliffs (tobacco with weed sprinkled in) though she shouldn't bc it's bad for her psychosis. But when it's not freaking her out she likes how it enhances art & music and how she thinks while high. Nothing else is a habit, just happy to do whatever she gets a hold of for the week. She doesn't like psychedelics bc she's prone to bad trips (she'll still do them anyway lol). She likes special K (her fav), ecstasy, coke, typical party stuff. She hasn't done anything considered extremely risky like heroin or st (for now...). Other than being a stoner she doesn't consider herself a druggie, it's just something to do to make things more interesting when the opportunity is there (which is why she'll trip despite not usually enjoying it, crowds of people morphing into demons just makes the friday night spicy you know?). She has a remarkable pokerface even if a drug is making her feel very bad, she'll keep her cool. Not that she doesn't get humbled every now and then if she gets really fucked up, she's woken up covered in vomit in a strangers bathroom before.

Jen is in a constant war against boredom and drugs are just a weapon in that battle. The only drug she's addicted to is nicotine.

She's really into underground rock and plays guitar (well, more like learning in between everything else she does), but she probably doesn't have enough friends to form a band or anything haha. I just wanted to draw her yelling there, but she probably karaokes. She's also into the scene and everything that entails (aka drugs), she tries to drag Lux into it a few times but it's scary to her. Jen enjoys the grungines of the scene, for her the stickier the floors the better. She's not above typical teen activities of her era like hanging out at the mall (which Lux prefers). When she's restless at night she'll go out tagging. Her tags are usually more like murals or transforming a space. A special interest is guns and she buys a lot of airsofts/replicas and fantasizes about buying a real one (a very bad idea). Adult Jen probably has real ones and goes to shooting ranges. Weird internet interests, like ogrish dot com and columbine communities lol (but she is not a fangirl she simply is fascinated by the concept/that they had the balls to do it). Any time not spent on fun, freak behavior, or self-destruction is usually spent towards her STEM self-studies, she failed getting into a prestigious STEM hs and wants to make up for it getting into a good college program, I haven't decided if she succeeds or not in act 3/adulthood. She waivers between taking this seriously and just wanting to die.

I'm glad you love her too thank you for indulging me!!