That's more than fair, a lot of context gets lost over text as well So don't stress out too much over it.
Frankly if it's more helpful I do keep my DM's open so you can always hit me up over that as well. only if you wanted though, no pressure.

It is really strange. There's quite a few people I'd say I'm very good friends with. But it's only in the sphere of this kink, or that kink. No other outside interests. it doesn't make them any less important too me, but if you step outside that boundary then this just drop dead. That last point I've really been feeling a lot this year. There's been a lot of unfortunate things happening in the background. Stuff I've not openly talked about. It's real and it impacts me and has really slowed things down to a crawl work wise. You know you express some pain or frustration over a loss and no ones there. You bring up the kink they like and then everyone shows up. It can be infuriating.

We are more than just funny avatars and words on a screen and it's way too easy to forget that these days.

oh ok, I'm glad you came back then. So sorry it just really did read like someone having a dig. I've had very similar messages before that are from a VERY SPECIAL bad egg.

But yeah no, I have to admit I've been getting pretty tired of some of the usual shtick. Lots of people you want to rely on or trust. But because you don't get them off anymore they throw you away. It hurts a lot and there's a lot of people I considered good friends who have just, gone away. You do find out who the real ones are though and I think it's best to lean on them, give them the most of your time. A test I do is "Can you have a real conversation with someone?" About anything at all, if you can't? They have to make everything kink only? Just hit eject, you don't need to waste your time.

I feel things are way harder now than they where even 5 years ago though. it's like everyone burnt out. I don't know, you find the parts of all of this that you enjoy, you find the people you enjoy being with, you stick to them. They're your anchor and everyone else is the tide. I'm here doing what I do because I enjoy it, even through all the pains and frustrations. I like art, I'm good at it, I want to make something of it and it's a part of me that's sticking around. You've got to do it for yourself I think. It's a very lame reason but I do like the crap I draw and want to keep making it, so I keep on and keep trying.

It is frustrating though, the stuff I like isn't for everyone. Like if I wanted to be popular and make money, I'd just post paws and draw foxes all day you know? But that bores me. So fuck it, I'm drawing my weirdo farm animals with people feet. It's what I want and no one can take that from me.

Idk if that helps with your feelings at all but hey keep asking if you need too alright?