..when I hold back my furious temper, refrain from slaughtering the assholes, keep my calm. The urge to create a bloodbath is sometimes hard to bear. And I hate myself for having such strong urges and tempers, I hate myself for being wise enough to NOT do anything like this, and I hate myself for having to deal with this while the assholes seem to have a pretty happy life... I'm awful and a bad person.