Well given that I'm 21, dating younger is kind of bad territory. Your brain develops pretty rapidly from your late teens through your mid twenties, and as a result I already feel detached from a lot of 18 and 19 year olds. I know that sounds ridiculous to people older than me, but consider that time looks different to people of different ages! I was 18 almost 4 years ago now, which is already a 5th of my entire life. To me being 18 feels like it was a lifetime ago, and I feel like I've changed and matured in very significant ways since then. That's why I'm at a stage I think where my friends are either my exact age, or significantly older than me by 5 or more years.

That's a long way of saying "I don't want to date an 18 or 19 year old because I feel like the maturity gap there is already significant". Or it's significant enough in terms of a life partnership where I need to rely on this person and depend on them for support. In terms of a more casual arrangement or a friendship, it's a bit easier to imagine myself with someone younger than me.

As for someone older... ha ha... A few people I've already dated or had "arrangements" with since turning 18 have been way older than me... like by 5-15 years. I guess I have less inhibitions about meddling with older folks when it comes to age gaps. I do honestly find it somewhat hot as well, but I wouldn't like leaving myself open for that person to use my age as a "finality card" or "gotcha" in arguments. I think it's a risk for the older party to manipulate by going "well I just understand this better since I'm older and therefore, I'm right" and that would be what creates a power imbalance in a relationship.

I don't think power imbalances are inherent to age gap relationships between adults, but that they ARE common and that's because the power imbalance is created by the older party viewing themselves as superior in some way, or acting more like a parent than a partner.

Wow, that was certainly a ramble.