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Both Dallan and Diana are famous at schools, having high achievements and incredible powers. Aiden and Amanda both are rebellious and quick to anger. Maybe this is a coincidence but their names start with the same alphabets.
Oh, your Excellency i give us Sebastian i speak out for the others your greatness will succeed with this oh, my Lord teehee 😜.
Would Cody just see a dead body and just say "Ah! Dead furson and i was never here"
If you could species swap any of the characters who would it be and who would you swap them to
Thank you for the reply on the Google dock, I will take all this into consideration thank you😁
Why does Therium just let Cody get retroactively deleted in the bad ending of his route? I thought he liked him?
Who fits this song the most https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSW2LVbPThw (it's JP but there are EN captions available)
If I could ask, what's Cody and each LI's favourite novel/story genre? :o
Would Cody just start using a gun until he can actually use his powers properly or is he gonna try to survive on his own to prove a point
Respond to this comment what did you think of the Google dock book?
The story seems to rush through significant events, especially regarding the bomb threat and the mysterious substitute. These moments feel like they should be key plot points but are glossed over too quickly. For instance, when Keith mentions a bomb threat, Conner’s response is waaaay too casual, and no normal person would let a kid go to school under a bomb threat.
The dialogue needs more natural flow. Some of the exchanges feel forced, especially when characters explain things to each other (e.g. Keith's explanation about needing education even when there's a bomb threat). Try reading the dialogue aloud to ensure it sounds like a real conversation.
Characters sometimes repeat each other too much. For example, Conner and Keith both acknowledge the bomb threat but there’s no meaningful progression in the conversation.
You frequently shift between past and present tense, which makes the narrative difficult to follow. For example, “Conner woke up” (past tense) but then “Conner proceeds to get out of bed” (present tense). Stick to one tense consistently.
Some spelling mistakes but those can be corrected.
Many parts of the story rely on telling rather than showing. For instance, instead of stating “Conner felt confused,” show his confusion through his actions or dialogue: maybe he stammers, or his thoughts race.
Over all everything moves way too fast, if sounds more like this is the resume of the 2 chapters rather than the chapters themselves.
This is the person who sent the Google doc that didn’t work so here’s the book Do not reply to this so far there’s only two chapters
Title :The war
in the lunchroom
Chapter one
As Conner woke up by the sunlight beaming through the window in his room, he slowly sat up and thought to himself, “Hmm, today is going to be a good day.” Conner proceeds to get out of his bed and walk downstairs. As we walked down the stairs he greets his mother in the kitchen. “Hey, mom, can we go to the store after school? I need something for my science class,” said Conner. “Sure, after you get your trousers and a belt on,” said Conner’s mom. “Ok, thanks, mom.”
As he left the house, he got an odd feeling inside. When he started walking, he bumped into his friend Keith. They started walking to school together. “Hey Conner, did you hear about the threat towards the school?” Keith questioned. “No, what threat!? What are you talking about, Keith? I didn't hear about any threat. Is everything going to be ok?”
“No, it’s some kinda freaky bomb threat; it's all over the news,” Keith said.
“Shouldn't we stay home if there's a bomb threat?” said Conner.
“I don’t know but we need the education to survive in this world,” said Keith. ''Ya, I guess you're right. Well, we better hurry, or we will be late.” “Yeah, we should get going,” said Conner.
As Keith and Conner run inside the school, they are stopped by the principal. “What are you doing in the halls? You should be in your class,” said the principal. “W-we are just going to class m-miss, s-sorry to disturb you, we will get out of your w-way,” said Conner in terror while slowly backing away. “Hold it you two, this is your third time being late to class, both of you to my office, NOW,” said the principal. Conner and Keith sigh, “Yes, ma’am,” as they both start walking to the principal’s office.
As they are walking, they see a man in a white coat “Hey, Keith, I think we have a sub in science today.'' “Yay... that’ll be fuuuun...” we mite do some thing.
They entered the principal's office and sat down. They notice a buckler newspaper on her desk. Conner reaches for it, and right as he tries to grab it, the principal walks in. “Alrighty boys, since you have been late as many times as you have, I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to give you both lunch detention.
“But Mrs.Vich, we were late because the school hours are at six in the morning,” said Conner. “I don’t care. When you get older, you’ll be wakin’ up at four in the morning! Now you’d better get to class while I write you two up for your parents.” As they leave the office, they wonder what would happen if the bomb hit the school. “So, Keith, what do you think if the bomb were to hit? ”Hmm, I don't know but, it’s scary to think about.
They start walking to their separate classes. Conner walks into his science class and walks up to the teacher and asks, ”Hey, umm so Ms. Cassidy, do you think the bomb will hit the school?”, Conner says. No, not really Conner. We get one each year and nothing ever happens. Now go to your seat and do your work.” “Yes ma’am, thanks for the reassurance,” Conner says as he sits down.
Conner sat down and started doing his work. While in a different room, the principal is walking into a meeting. But not any normal meeting, this meeting was with her “Higher Up’s.” As she sits down at the table with the “Higher Up’s,” one of the “Higher Up’s” said, “Did you do the deed?”
”Yes the deed is done, I got all the staff vaccinated,” replied Ms. Vich.
The head leader of the “Higher Up’s” said, ''Good, now we can start the 05 virus.”
While in Connor’s science class, he notices his teacher is gone, and in her instead is a sub. This sub is obviously someone who pursued science as a career due to their oversized lab coat and all the stuff they were currently writing on the board. He begins to speculate what an actual scientist is doing in his class. “Maybe he's a guest speaker?” he wonders. Then the scientist started writing dots and lines on the board. “Kinda small writing,” I thought we were going to start playing a game but then the bell rang. “Maybe tomorrow then?” Conner left the classroom and rushed to his next class since he shares the class with Keith. As
Conner gets to his next class with
Keith noticed the same substitute from his math class in the classroom. “Hmm what is he doing here? I just saw him in my science class.” Conner didn't mind it but he was beginning to become a little confused. As Conner and Keith sat at their desks together, they started to talk about the man in the lab coat. “Hey dude, this is weird but I literally just had him in my science class so why is he subbing here?” Conner says. “Really? That’s odd, maybe there just weren't enough subs in the school.” Keith replies. “Yeah you're probably right,” but as he said
that, the sub started to draw dots and dashes on the board, confusing everyone. They begin to start talking amongst themselves, questioning what he’s writing. “Hmm… maybe it’s a puzzle,” Conner wonders quietly.
Chapter two
Conner raised his hand and waited quietly for the teacher to call on him. The teacher turned around to glance at the students and gave Conner and Keith a quick death glare, then turned back around to continue to write on the whiteboard. Conner and Keith were confused. Why would he give them a death glare? And why did he not acknowledge them?
A mutual agreement passed between them that maybe he was just too busy writing on the board, after all, it's not actually like they were paying attention to the class anyways. 12 minutes went by and then the man spoke, today we'll be learning about the human body and its leukocyte cells. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy because they had already learned some of that stuff but they just shrugged it off and listened to what he had to teach. “Nothing really happened in that class today. I wonder what my next class will be like?”
Maybe I should raise my hand and ask a question. Gust as he was about to be called on the bell had rang and it was time to go to their next class. I guess I'll just ask him now that class is over Conner sed to himself. Can i tok to you Mr …́ ́ Dr clementine is what you can call me and no i'm very busy.´´ But́ ́ no buts i said no now go to your next class´´ yes sir. Com on Keith lets go to history mabe sum one there will answer my questions´´ ya mabe or we culled skip class and ask the Dr clementine what the heck he is even doing her and why he keeps writing stuff on the bored.´´ mmm no Keith i think i want to keep myself and you from being late from any more classes ́ ́ ok fine let's go.
When they got to their class the door was closed and locked´´ Keith i think we're locked out.´´ you think?´´ oh wait there's a note on the ground it's probably says where they went it sess …. Nothing it's just a blank piece of paper.´´ ugg ok well let's just wait for Mr. H to get to class.´´
What no, I think we should talk to Dr Clementine.
‘’They waited patiently as they wanted for Mr. H avenshuly arrived at class and evry one waiting went in and sat down.’’hey everyone sorry i was late i got stuck in a meeting. So evry one are we ready to start are new unt. we are going to learn about world war 1 and how they used morse code.
‘’ Mr .H gives about there asin ment paper to evry one in the class.’’ Allrite this is your assignment: open your textbooks to page 56 and read the full page and decipher the morse code on your paper. Ok now you may begin.’’ Keith, can you help me with this? I think it got ripped out of my book.
What why is evry thing almost always ripped out? Ok fine i'll help you.’’ 10 ish minutes late.’’ Ok Conner just look at the book it will help you decipher it.’’ no i refuse it's too confusing ‘’ if you don’t you’ll fall the assignment ‘’ ugg fine i will use the stuped book.’’ you know it would probably be easier if you'd not read the book upside down.’’ oh that would make sense'’ ya it would.
We know that scribbles is holding onto the memories of therium's route for Cody but what about the memories of Tate's route that Cody subconsciously remembers, is scribbles also holding onto those, is it a side effect of being in a real dream, or is it some kind of power Cody has?
Scribbles also seemed to have extra memories beyond what therium's route should allow when he complained about Cody asking for his help but I might be misremembering it :p
Why are Cody and Tate so... unintelligent
Dallan kinda like Diana from Little Witch Academia but nicer and friendlier while Aiden kinda like Amanda but less reckless.
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