So hey, dream stuff. Uhh...this one's not pleasant! Hope you don't mind too much, and no pressure to respond/analyze. I've had a strangely recurring theme of my dreams for a long time now and it's uh...kinda frightening!! I'll toss out a quick death talk cw for everything beyond this point, hopefully none of it shows up in the tweet itself.

Yeah, um. I've had a LOT of dreams involving seeing people die, hearing about people I know passing away, or in some cases being killed myself. My actual experience with death is honestly very shallow, it's hard to chalk it up to any sort of trauma. I've always had a particularly strong fear of guns, but I mean, that's not exactly irrational - They make sudden loud noises and turn people into bodies, categorically scary.

I'm getting into detail at this point, so it's gonna start getting troubling: Most recently, there was one where I was shot in the back of the head, and I distinctly remember my head flinching violently in response to that irl (I also have a tic so there could be some connection there...) I've had a dream where I was seeing an open-casket funeral for 3 girls I didn't recognize, when suddenly some REALLY weird rigor mortis kicked in and all the bodies kicked out of the caskets/platforms and just started writhing on the floor. One of their heads just fell off like it was never attached. There's one where I saw a best friend get shot in the head and fall backwards with just a...wide-eyed, dead stare. There's one where I was in a plane that was about to crash, and one where a nuclear bomb was about to drop in whatever downtown I was in. Those ones ended with me waking up.

Again, no pressure to respond to this, especially publicly. This is someone you know, so if you'd prefer to chat about this one in private, I'll toss you a message.

Feel free to skip if you want, it's rather long.

First, have to say all of your creations are spectacular. Having too many hobbies certainly isn't a bad thing, just don't let the weight of too much to do bring you down.
If you have trouble composing something, try playing something randomly, then refine it afterwards, like a rough sketch. It doesn't need to be perfect to start. When I played the concert flute and messed around in Reaper long ago, that's what I tried to do.

Even if you don't think something you've made is great, it's probably still pretty good if not great. Try to not let others get you down. Letting the negative perception of others and bad experiences get to you and give you doubts will only lead to pain, especially in the long run. I know that all too well. You deserve all the praise you can get for what you have done.

I do have to say I don't think I could handle the popularity you have. I imagine you probably get tons of messages and it can be overwhelming. I probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to post anything publicly ;w;

There's no need to feel trapped. If you ever need help or feel down, don't be afraid to reach out. Those who care for you would much rather hear your sorrows than have you suffer in silence.

Now, out of all that I've said above, I probably need to take the above advice more than you do. I let things get to me too much and I'm at the point where I feel I don't deserve praise for anything. I feel I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like if I do anything wrong, everyone will turn against me, I have nightmares of this.
It's at the point where most of the time I don't have motivation to do anything for myself. Most of the time I feel anything bad that happens to me is deserved and that I don't deserve anything good. I'm stuck at my current job, and this is one of the reasons why.

I have tried a few things to try and help, but there is only one thing I know that helps. An experimental device that can alter certain functions of the brain (not giving the name of it so you won't try and make one >:3 It's still very experimental and probably won't be widely accepted for at least another 15 years). But one of my biggest fears is of any drug or device that can dramatically alter the personality or perception of someone and I also feel I don't deserve that level of happiness. I did use it once, and it worked better than I ever thought it could, but I let it wear off haven't used it on myself again.

I don't think I would ever say a lot of this directly to you (not anything you did, it's just me), but know there are people who care ;3

An anonymous cat fan