uhh i get over my crippling social anxiety and message or approach them first, but before hand i do a little observing and decipher what their interests are to craft a personality specifically catered towards them. then, i approach them with said personality i have carefully crafted to hopefully make them like me. usually i text or approach first until they start texting or approaching first and then i reveal my true alpha colors. (this is not the case all the time this is very heavily exaggerated)