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Hey dear, I saw your post about your friend who hurt your feelings and contacted you again, trying to get you back. I want to tell you that I had a best friend with whom I was friends for almost 15 years. That girl was literally everything to me, and the only person who wanted to hang out with me in our teenage years. But the problem was that in those 15 years she did a lot of shit that I forgave her and I believe no normal person would forgive. That person put others first, while I was her replacement in most situations. Calling me when others were not at her disposal or when they turned their backs on her, even though I told her several times that this would happen. When I was in the worst mental state, she was nowhere to be found, while I, in her worst situations, brought her back to wholeness and didn't sleep just to make her okay. I was afraid of losing her and ignored those nonsense for the sake of my heart and feelings. Long story short, not to drown you, last year I put an end to that whole story and this time I turned my back on her, with a heavy heart. Her forgetting that she should see me, forgetting about my birthday, not answering my messages and calls just to hang out with others went over my head. And I can say that I was ready to give a kidney for her. I still miss her, she still calls me when no one else is around, only I try to ignore her as much as possible because I don't want a friendship where I feel like I'm in a toxic relationship with no way out. And a lot has happened in the past 15 years. I want to say that, no matter how much you miss someone and want to get back the person who hurt you, think about why you left them behind in the first place. You did it for yourself and no one else. People like them will continue to do it no matter how much they apologize to you. They miss you in the moment, they are perfect and then they insult you again. Know your priorities. You have to be aware that you deserve better. You will meet many other people, some of whom will be your friends for life and some of whom will turn out to be shit. As sad as it sounds, people come and go and you learn something from each of them and build yourself. You are perfect the way you are and I believe many people love you for that. You deserve better and you should sometimes treat people the way they treat you. It takes a lot of strength to leave what is no longer for you. I know it's hard and I don't want to be smart like some old lady and I'm only 23 years old. Again, you should decide what you are going to do, not others. This is just my good intention trying to comfort you at least a little and let you know that you are not alone. I wish I could help a little more or give you a big hug and I wish that, whatever decision you make, everything turns out for the best. I won't bore you and sorry if there are spelling mistakes. I send love and I hope everything will be okay <3
Thank you so much for sharing your experience it does help me put some things in perspective. My friend did similar things, we would argue and she would apologize and promise to do better. At the last fight I told her I was tired of having to wait around for her to have enough time for me in the so called best friends relationship. I did not want all of her time but to be more then a second choice or replacement. I wanted my time to be as important. I have decided to hear what she has to say as I will always love the friend I once knew but we can never be friends again after her actions and words. Knowing how I felt through this I know the amount of pain you feel as well and it never really goes away.
Again I really appreciate you reaching out and if you ever want to talk anon, my DMs are open. I debated posting that I answered this as it seems personal to you but I worried you would not see I answered so I decided I will. I hope that does not upset you and if it does ofc just let me know.
Lots of love 💜💜
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