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Flying potato · 5mo

The plot is plotting at the end of chapter 8?! I did wonder what was happening with the others tbh so this was a surprise bc I had some ideas about Felix but this wasn't something I could have predicted :0 Honestly I do feel bad for pretty much everyone in this fic (except for Chan eugh)... It's the way that everyone at some point must have been deceived which is relatable for a different reason (The short story is that everyone in my friend group had been told completely different narratives about each other by one person and we all realized nothing was adding up and the fallout was just wild by the time they left🥴) I know this is a primarily Jisung-centric fic and rightfully so after all the stuff he's been put through but sometimes when I re-read chapter 5 (still so heartbreaking) I think about Minho's offhand comments about sadness in the newer chapters. I wonder if there was a moment where he might have hit rock bottom or neglected himself in a way from the perspective of a caregiver in some sort of way? Mostly because I keep ruminating about the bit in chapter 5 where he's described as "Tired eyes. Dark circles. Stubble that should have been shaved a week ago." Idk man, this fanfic is so good and my brain loves to dig through possibilities of what various members might have been doing or feeling (sorry if this is a giant paragraph😅)

Nah you’re totally right! Mimo had a really tough time and we are limited by jsvng’s pov on how bad it was but we’ll get some more insight next chapter (once I write it lol).

Mimo not only was working two jobs with long hours but he had the main emotional labor of taking care of jsvng. Yes Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Felix helped out, but Minho was the one who primarily blamed himself for the fallout. Minho was exhausted mentally and physically and when he’d return home from a grueling day knowing he would have to be up in four hours and just saw Jisung acting innocent but only being a shell of his former self.

Jisung who hated Minho for so long because of how MINHO mistreated him, yet he called him “his alpha” and he would be nice to him because Jisung’s brain was protecting him from the trauma. Having to deal with THAT on top of Jisung’s bad days when he remembered too much and freaked out, he would insult Minho and throw a tantrum when Minho, and everyone around them was constantly making financial and mental sacrifices for Jisung. It was exhausting.

That’s why when Jisung “woke up” Minho sleeps so much. He’s drained from months of stress and debilitating exhaustion. He would come home and cry because he dreaded the fact that he would have to do this on repeat for an unknown amount of time with only seeing marginal improvements. Ten months is an extremely long time to endure such a stressful environment and even if Minho wanted to give up, he couldn’t. Jisung was relying on him and Minho blamed himself. So he felt like he had to fix it.

So even though Jisung only understands a fraction of Minho’s suffering, Minho went through a lot for him. His mental health probably wasn’t much better, but it was more like his body finally crashed the second he quit his second job and could relax and breathe.

But then Jisung did start to get better, he would act more lucid and smile more (like with the kids piano) and that made it better. Jisung grew more emotionally attatched but to Minho there was always a sense of bitterness because he felt like it wasn’t the real Jisung, it was a Jisung that hadn’t forgiven him for his past transgressions and although he could live in this fantasy land where Jisung cared about him and viewed him as his, it didn’t feel real. That’s why when they did sleep together Minho was so adamant that it was what Jisung wanted. He didn’t want his own desires to overshadow Jisung’s consent because he had been faced with so much undeserving love from Jisung that he felt like he had a responsibility to ensure that Jisung properly forgave him and wanted him.

But then again we are very limited by Jisung’s pov lol

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