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I don't wanna be your friend anymore
oh i see how it is. after you've been threatening to ban me and brylee you're now up here begging and craving more fanfics? tsk tsk tsk. get OUT
When you got home, you were suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. You yawned as you slumped through the door, not even noticing SpongeBob stomping behind you with an uncharacteristic frown on his face.
You’d had an eventful day with your boyfriend and you were ready to relax for the night. Little did you know, relaxation was the furthest thing from SpongeBob’s mind as he sat on the couch, crossing his arms to further dwell in his anger. You, meanwhile, went to the kitchen to see what was in the fridge.
“Today was fun,” you told him as you opened the fridge door.
“Yeah. Plenty,” he said, and you were unable to pick up on the sarcasm in his voice.
You picked up a carton of milk and examined it, oblivious. “Do you think the milk has expired?”
“I’m a good jellyfisher, you know!” SpongeBob suddenly exclaimed, fully ignoring your question.
Confused, you turned towards him and stared at him. You took a second to process what he’d said before nodding.
“Yeah. I know,” you replied with a smile.
You shrugged and put the milk back up, figuring you’d worry about that later. You returned to the living room, grabbing the television remote before going to snuggle next to your boyfriend.
“I mean, I’m an expert jellyfisher. Ask anybody-“ he went on as you turned the TV on.
You chuckled softly. “I know you are, love.” You had no idea why he was so determined to state the obvious but you were too preoccupied with flipping through channels. “Ooh, wait! I think Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy is on.”
SpongeBob just sighed. You went to your favorite channel, which was in the middle of playing an old re-run. You didn’t mind. You got cozy beside him, laying your head atop his. SpongeBob, almost begrudgingly, leaned close to you, still looking grumpy.
You were about halfway through an episode when you realized he hadn’t laughed once at the show, hardly even cracking a smile! He just sat there, arms crossed, practically glaring at the TV. It was unsettling, to say the least; he was usually so happy, especially with you! You turned your whole body towards him, using the remote to put the show on mute.
“SpongeBob? What’s wrong?” you asked him very gently, worried. You took his hands into yours, holding them softly.
Was it something you said? From your perspective, the day was going swimmingly. A picnic at the park, jellyfishing, watching TV… what could have gone wrong?
“Nothing,” SpongeBob insisted, though he still looked quite irritated. “I just think you should remember that I won the Bikini Bottom Jellyfishing Championship eight—eight!—years in a row.” SpongeBob then slipped his hands out of yours and held up eight fingers for emphasis.
You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Sponge, what’s this about?”
He turned away from you with a dramatic huff. “Don’t act like you don’t know!” he exclaimed. “You want to replace me because you think I’m no good at jellyfishing!”
“What?” Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “When have I ever-?”
Suddenly, SpongeBob started to cry, switching from anger to sadness in the blink of an eye. You watched him, startled, as he fell in front of you and started begging on his knees.
“Please, please don’t replace me!” he sobbed, shaking his clasped hands. “I’m a great jellyfisher too, I swear! I can jellyfish circles around that guy, I can!”
“What are you talking about…?” you asked, then paused, realization striking you.
You’d completely forgotten that when you were at Jellyfish Fields after your picnic, someone had bumped into you two and started a conversation. (Until now, that is...) You couldn’t remember his name, but you’d chatted about jellyfishing techniques for about ten minutes or so before he had to leave. He was a nice fellow but, now that you thought about it, SpongeBob hadn’t really joined in on the conversation even though he loved to talk about jellyfishing, and he’d been sulky ever since that happened…
You looked down at your sponge with a sympathetic smile. “SpongeBob,” you said his name soothingly, interrupting his crying, “are you feeling a little green-eyed?”
SpongeBob stopped, wiping away his tears as his lip wobbled. “…What?” he asked, voice small.
You chuckled and grabbed him, lifting him onto your lap to hug him.
“Oh, my sweet sponge, I would never want to replace you,” you assured him. You kissed his cheek lovingly. “You don’t need to be jealous of that random stranger.”
“Jealous?” Spongebob repeated, pouting slightly. “I’m not jealous.”
You looked at him incredulously. “I’d honestly forgotten about that guy until you reminded me, honey, and it’s clear that’s all that’s been on your mind since we came back.”
SpongeBob looked up at you and then sighed, further curling up in your arms.
“Okay, maybe I am jealous. But you were talking to that man for a while! You seemed to really like him.”
He looked up at you with wet, blue eyes and his expression tugged on your heartstrings. You had no idea he felt that way! You honestly wouldn't have given that stranger the time of day if you knew it would make SpongeBob react this way. You cuddled closer to him, frowning.
“You know I could never love another jellyfisher other than you.” You shook your head. “You’re my favorite critter in the whole deep, blue sea after all.”
SpongeBob lit up at that, looking at you with his signature cheery smile. “Really?”
“Of course.”
To assure him, you leaned in and kissed him sweetly, holding him tightly as you did so. It was quick but tender, and when you parted he had hearts in place of his pupils and more floating and popping above his head. He blushed, looking a bit woozy. Neptune, he looked adorable.
“All good?” you giggled, a little worried he might faint in your arms. At least you'd be able to catch him if he did.
He nodded. “Better than good!” he hummed happily, giving you a lovesick smile.
His tongue poked out a little from between his tooth gap and it made you want to kiss him all over again; so you did. He laughed as you parted again.
“I love you...." he said afterward.
“I love you too,” you replied, resting your head on top of his, and you were glad that he knew that you really, truly meant it.
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