╯︿╰ my lovely anon . ,..,

right . ,. i think for most people , they believe that those who dont live life the same as them are doing it because of a lack of care , or an unwillingness to Be Normal , but obviously it cudnt be further from the truth . its the fact that We Care that makes us take thigns slowly , because otherwise , things wouldnt turn out well at all .. im glad ure steadily working on finding a balance :-)

and ure so right about this , many of use go through periods in our lives due to outside and Inside circumstances when we're Less productive or More productive , and thats "normal" for all people , but can be more severe for those of us who may not be Built for .. the more strenuous .. parts of modern society . sometimes i think of simpler times , when work was more linear , when it wud feed the active part of ur brain with results much faster , much more directly .. but alas we have to work for numbers on a screen now as opposed to tilling our own soil lfmao . pros and cons to both ofc ..

i wish u luck as well !!!!! we are holding spectral hands as we walk believe u me (* ￣3)(ε￣ *)

oh this is so sweet ..., im so glad u found some comfort in us , its always so healing to know there are others struggling with the exact same thing u are , and they are still putting one foot in front of the other despite their difficulties (ง •_•)ง

to be honest ive been called lazy all my life , uncaring , unwilling to put effort into anything .. ive always had to struggle with peoples perception of me , and how i could ever find peace in a world that moves so quickly while i rest . i think with time i got used to it , but its not easy , and even i sometimes look at others and wonder what couldve been if i had just mustered the strength to do more when i gave up

but then i think it couldve been worse .. how do i put it .. people tend to react negatively when theyre put under a large amount of stress , which is why usually drastic measures are taken at a time when they feel like theyre suffocating , like theres no other way out so to speak .. and objectively speaking , i know that if i tried to lead the same life my peers are , i would not last very long . i know this from experience , and while i also know that ive reached the Other extreme now , im confident that i made the right choices back then .. to stop .. to take breaks .. to be more gentle with myself

im very lucky that i can listen to my mind when it asks for these breaks , most cannot , and thats how many meet their end really .. im a unique case i think , which is why i think that while not everyone cud afford to just Stop Working for a while , its important to at least make the most of ur choices in that circumstance .. work if u must , if theres no other way , but try to find Some Things that can offer u some peace , like a routine thats yours alone that u dont share with anyone else , something that gives u some sense of ownership over ur life, that feels purposeful for u alone ..

and yes , as u said , theres nothing wrong with being built differently (￣y▽,￣)╭ ive come to realise that what others call "real life" or a "normal life" looks different for everyone , and mine just happens to be like that , and even as i try to improve it , i dont hate it .. and myself , for simply needing to go at a slower pace . anything to keep us living longer is worth it in my eyes !

love u anon .. <3

ohhhh thank u for talking to me about this !!

i feel bad that u resonate with how i feel .. but im glad to know ure on the mend as well :-) i think .. well .. this is a serious discussion that wud take hours to really dig into properly but overall i think mental health is overlooked a lot , even as we shift into a world that seems more "welcoming" to people like us , it still feels .. superficial

to me .. my mental issues .. the struggles that i have , these are not things that are easily fixed by simply Trying to be happy , or bruteforcing my way into a "normal" life .. like u said , when ur mental health takes a toll , it takes a long time to build it back up , and sometimes u have to carry pieces of it with u everywhere that just wont fit in anymore .. and i think . a lot of people , even our generation , they see mental health as this .. this thing that can sometimes be annoying , but overall benign .. it isnt benign at all .. for some of us , it seeps into everything , it weakens our physical health ..

theres a reason they say u need a healthy body And a healthy mind . and .. if my experience with .. the ways i tried to "cure" this mental state of mine is anything to go by , ive found that sometimes .. sometimes things are just too difficult to try to work through .. the workplace stuff , i understand ur friend very well .. it takes a while to figure out what u can possibly do , if anything , to create a life for urself that wont drive u to drastic measures ..

its very serious .. its always been serious , and i wish more people understood that if we could , we would .. i dont think anyone wants to rot at home , to not contribute to society .. theres peace and tranquility in that unity, in knowing that u are part of something bigger and u are doing ur part , and when u cannot do these things , it adds onto that stress .. it adds this sense of inadequacy , like people are always judging u.. but .. ive learned to live with that , and to put my own wellbeing first .. i dont realyl mind if people think im lazy anymore .. i think we each have our own paths to follow , and theres no shame in walking slower than most , because we all reach the same destination in the end : -)

anyway sorry for talking ur ears off , i am really glad that u were able to go back home and that ure working on things for yourself .. i think we can do it , both u and me , we can be happy , so i wish u the best on ur journey as well !!! thank u ; 3; kisses u tenderly

hello my dear anon !!! thank u for the info, its very detailed and it helps a lot !!!

i actually did take some cheaper ones before, but the ones prescribed by this doctor have a much higher dosage of iron in them , as well as the iron itself being sucrosomial , so the effects shud be more visible and quicker now !! i have the dosage for a whole month , and i was also prescribed vitamin c , probiotics and royal jelly to help with my appetite , thats why it all cost me an arm and a leg ≡[。。]≡

so what ure saying is veggies are useless . . . i knew it . .. . . WELL the diet ive been put on consists of kale, red meat, fish , spinch .. beans .. erm .. i forget .. its all on a list ..

i did buy iv b12 last week , that Also cost me an arm and a leg !! Interesting !!! after i get more blood tests done , we'll see if i need to take them intravenously or not : -) i just cant go yet because im a bit too weak and i Cannot go through another day like saturday cus ill DIE !!!!!! probably not but ill FEEL like im dying ! so im waiting a few days .. maybe a week ..

thank u my sweet . how nice of u to help . kisses u

HELLO thank u i am !!!! also i love to drop my own lore all the time dw at all if a question is too much i wont answer it but u can always ask i really dont mind (￣y▽,￣)╭

i actually went to law school for a year and then dropped out ! told myself id go back but as we can all see , that never happened !! good thing tho , i doubt i wudve been a good attorney .. minds too full of Yaoi nowadays ..

work wise ive been steadily working since i turned 18 !! i had a lil part time job before that , but i did work for years and years afterwards !!! i worked customer support , i did a small sales gig , i even worked online as a streamer for a while !! (got partner and all .. heh ..) i quit my big boy job at the end of 2019 , right before xmas .. i was starting to feel the ramifications of Unmedicated Depression and work only made it worse , but i thot id take a break and go back to the workforce in a few months .. obviously the pandemic changed that

i tried working again towards the end of 2020 , it was a work from home job that .. to be honest .. it brought me to the edge LMFAO like literally . if u know what i mean . lots of stuff happened back then , even my mom got involved .. and then i said .. alright .. im not ready for this type of thing yet , ill just take it easy . im very fortunate in that my mom really Wants me here , at home , so i dont feel any pressure to move out (although i did move out for a year when i turned 18 , but that was more dramatic than normal i thinkfdgkjfd) .. im supported by her in many ways , though i do tend to pay for certain bills and household stuff when i have the money !!

most of my work since 2021 has been art commissions .. they dont happen frequently, as i am also quite slow , and maybe not The Best at it .. but its something that gives me way less stress than a Real Job TM would ..

thru the years i kept thinking to myself , ah , i really need to get normal soon , i cant keep going on like this . people work through worse things .. and hten .. things would happen in my life , id lose a loved one and all i wud think about is how lucky i was to not have a job so that i didnt need to Present to work while grieving .. this happened for two years in a row .. i think it really skewed my view of .. what i can do in the workforce , the type of stress i can take .. i think if i lived in a better country , id prolly be on disability .. but where i live its practically useless to do so , the money they give u is not worth the sheer effort it takes to go thru all that bureucracy .

anyway so thats where i am , thats my situation .. i think a lot of people would think of me as weak , or lazy , but i hope u guys know that i have tried many times before , and i will continue to try as soon as i get stronger .. im finally taking some steps to become someone who can withstand hardship , physically and metnally, but the process is slow and i sometimes fall back on old habits .. its very slow .. but it does exist and that brings me some joy :-)

so if u are in a situation like mine , where work feels impossible , where normal life feels alien and uncomfortable , my advice is to take things slowly , to move at ur own pace in whatever way u can , if the circumstances allow it , take breaks and allow urself time .. its all u have after all

kisses u .. this turned very emotional sorry . didnt mean 2 sound gay ont he timeline