this has been sitting in my inbox for the past 5 months and everytime I open my retrospring I stare at this trying to conceive an answer. I have wanted to answer this since I got it, and since I no longer use this account I figured this would be a fantastic final question to be answered.

I'll do my best, but if you have any questions or you simply want to (anonymously) engage in conversation with me about this, my cbox is here --> https://my.cbox.ws/seraph

for my personal case, my experiences in figuring out my past were varied. I don't have a lot of memory, even still, regarding what I am and where I came from. I was raised catholic in a very religious household that had mixed religious backgrounds. I think the contrast in what I remember vs what I have experienced in this body is what really did it for me. it was never really familiar to me - every night that I said Grace at the table, or shared prayer with my mother before we slept was filled with a lot of questions. It felt almost like apostasy, especially as I got older.

so for me, I suppose, it was inherent. something was wrong with the way I was living. my existence felt empty for most of my life. something was missing; I was lacking a very big piece of myself, lost in a plane of existence that I was unsure was even real. it was very defeating. I declined, my life was very bleak, but that's not really what this is about.

I attempted to reconnect my human body with myself through various ways. I attempted to get into a lot of different spiritual and religious practices. I collected, I learned, I sought and eventually I had to give up. it was a lot of searching for a lot of nothing. don't stress yourself over nothing, anon. it really isn't worth it. do not lose yourself in an attempt to find yourself, because you will be accomplishing nothing.

my biggest piece of advice is to, really, find what feels right. find things that make you feel full. things that feel familiar, even if it isn't a lot. I've noticed that whenever something does not feel familiar within "official" texts, biblical or otherwise, that it is easier to search for what the real truth is. when that bell rings, let it. let it keep ringing until you find your truth, or some semblance of it. explore different pieces of religions. read different pieces of texts. learn about the history of your existence by turning the ""official"" texts into a puzzle piece.

nobody knows what you are except for you. you just have to look. I am always here if you need to talk about it. reach out through cbox and I'd be willing to swap contact information for a more private discussion. I really hope this helped to some degree, and I apologize if it didn't. you are not alone, even if nobody or nothing else shares the experiences of your previous life. I am really glad to be admired in such a way, and I really admire you for reaching out. thank you!