// homophobia, angst
This is a tough one. So this reminds me of childhood and being as ‘straight as a bendy straw’. I’ll set the scene in my mind:

“I’m as straight as a bendy straw.”

Flx said it with a laugh when they were in middle school. They were sitting at the oak tree waiting for their parents to finally show up to carpool after soccer practice.

Jngn didn’t get it, not really. He knew it was about homosexuality. Heard the term ‘straight’ in a tv show he saw once. Perhaps that’s where flx got the joke. But he’d never met one before.

His mom showed up eventually to pick them up in the van. Trash rolled out of the door with the wind.

Flx’s house is closer to school than theirs. Jngn didn’t say a word until flx got out of the car. He asked her what it meant to be gay. Told her what flx said.

She gave a stormy look in the rear view. The one she makes when she opens up the mail or dad’s out too late. She didn’t answer. All she said was ‘don’t tell your father.’

And jngn knew to listen to her. He didn’t mention it at dinner, but it didn’t leave his mind. If flx liked boys does that mean he could too? Why does it have to be a secret?

All he knew was that he hated the boys in his class. Flx is the only one he got along with. So if he liked a boy it would be him.

He never told his father but his father found out anyway. Everyone did because flx liked his joke too much.

Flx moved away over Christmas break. Didn’t get to say goodbye.

Jngn kept his secret. He never told anyone when he found out he was ‘straight as a bendy straw’ too. He knew not to make the same joke. He wished he told flx what his mother told him. Wished he could have kept him safe.

He doesnt see him again until college—a state school he almost didn’t go to and joined late. He dyed his hair, but jngn recognized his freckles and his smile. It was him.

They make eye contact but guilt takes over. So he goes the other way. (From here there’s be them seeing each other more and getting together but for now, angst)