anon · 1y
ah i should’ve specified more sorry! i didn’t mean preference wise but in the sense of how in the community ppl often categorise people based on their body/how they present and how that comes w the stereotype of labels eg this member is leaner than this member (even if it’s by a margin) so he gets categorised as a twink but then has that ongoing generalisation that twink = bttm + sub and vice versa w other titles when it’s so much more varied and diverse than that (this ask is so long sorry jfjfjfjf but it was brought upon a book i had just read on this persons life after coming out and feeling the need to conform and be smaller + more fem presenting due to him being naturally taller and bigger and navigating that space which i really connected to also being mlm and my preferences being the “opposite” of what i get stereotyped as)
ah!! okay yeah then i totally understand. and agree, for the most part.
tho i do think the problem here has less to do with the actual categorizing of body types/how those categorizations were actually meant to be utilized and More to do with the way heteronormative stereotyping has caused gay men to feel pressured into fitting the "expectations" that get lumped together with these body types.
as a mlm who is short, round-faced and who isn't absolutely ripped, people who don't know me would more than likely try to force me into the wrong box, if strictly based off stereotypes. im not submissive, nor am i am a bottom, i'm not even a verse, but they'd probably assume i am, and that's not only annoying bc it's not accurate but also, doing that to every gay person they see would be a huge disservice to the amount of diversity that's within the gay community. the whole idea that appearance/body type/personality has Anything to do with a persons bedroom preferences (whether that be Dom/sub or top/bottom or even just what body types ppl are attracted to (which isnt always the "opposite" of what they are) is such bullshit and is combated every single day by real life gay men.
personally, i think there's a huge, direct connection to how non-mlm (ESPECIALLY young ones or ones who have learned all they know about mlm or bdsm from being in fandom spaces) push heteronormative ideals onto gay men and the way the general public views gay men in regards to their body type. bc it's really obvious imo when ppl dont know anything when it comes to gay men as real life people and just see them as characters on their phone that they can project onto. but that's a whole other bag of worms lol (tho ofc that isn't to say the pressure to conform or present in certain ways doesn't come from issues also WITHIN the gay community as well, bc it definitely DOES, but i just think it's made worse by fandom)
