I'm really sorry you have to go through such a hard time and this becomes you. Please do not twist my words as I didn't fully comprehend why you turned to my Retrospring and asking me those things. I cannot give you any mental health advice nor to advice you to turn to God as it should be your responsibility to seek help, all I could do was to wish you a better state of life ahead and pray that you'll soon recover. And no ... I didn't wait a full year to answer that. If you noticed, I have just answered all of my Retrospring questions today. I am sorry to break it to you but this particular answering-just-now thing is not about you. Please seek help, I hope you are okay.