i dont mind the question. which is have i seen a difference in engagement with my fics since I locked them last year, right? (as opposed to how I feel about unlocking them? i dont think that's what you're asking and if you are, well, no. i have no plans to unlock.)
and honestly no, i havent seen a great difference in engagement with my fics now versus pre 2023, not in a way that is evident to me anyway. but I do have to say, im a really small writer. engagement with my fics have always been low, when seen in the larger scope of fandom. the few times my fics have gotten crazy numbers due to fests etc the engagement has still been like. very small compared to other writers I know who write in these same fandoms. and none of this is said bitterly! i write weird pairings that overlap fandoms and consistently write painful themes primarily for myself. im always grateful to the friends and readers who do stick by me but I've had fics over 4-5 years that have next to no readers that still excite me cause i thought of something different and executed it. i hope I answered your question and that I didn't get too patronising there lol, not my intention.

thank you for that!! i am soooooo sorry to disappoint you with this but the process of writing it was arduous as hell. i am a very reluctant smut writer. every time i have done it, it has pulled my teeth out in the doing of it. i just get very technical about the logistics of it, the limbs and positions and spacing and get very caught in my own head. add to that, theee worst stretch of work in the months since may (still ongoing) and i had literally no time and no energy. i wrote this the week of posting after begging for an extension. sorry for the rant!! i suppose the only positive i can offer right now is that im very proud of myself for coming up with the link to carson's glass essay and going through with it. without that reference, i'd have been lost at sea completely. that reference is what tided me over and raised the wordcount probably, because it forced me to write multiple sex scenes instead of just the one breakup scene to actually sketch out what i was trying to say re: nahyo's relationship.

god, so many things! favourites are hard to pick, especially in the middle of a long dry spell as far as reading and writing goes. but yeah, obvious ones are grief and separation. slice of life in its most basic sense, so like, ordinary life being lived - cleaning, cooking, walking; just people doing the things they do everyday.

i feel like motifs are not hard sells to me. if fall for a writer's style and rhythm they can take me almost anywhere they want. i cant help but bring up haikyuu here. nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing about the genre, the setting, the tone, any of it, is among my preferences. i dont care for sports, let alone sports mangas. i dont care for optimistic protagonists or hopeful, almost euphoric storytelling. or so i believed until i read haikyuu. and now i beg everyone i can to read it and call it one of the defining stories i've read in my life. a volleyball manga. its unbelievable. i suppose it helps that a lot of it IS about people, very specifically sports playing high schoolers, doing their everyday things. it IS about grief, somehow, at the end of it all.

this is such roundabout way of saying idk what my favourite motifs are, i suppose. they change along with me. i grew up on fantasy fiction, cut my teeth on it and then some. but i dont gravitate towards heroic stories of that set archetype now. or if i do, its because the writer is exceptional. (im thinking iron widow here though calling it fantasy fiction is kind of a reach. what i probably mean is the broader idea of fantastical novels we had as kids i guess)

i love places. towns, cities, apartments, homes. just pockets that represent a character's desires, past history and everything. on a similar note, i love liminal spaces. cars, bikes, walks, elevators etc. love them even more when instead of showing movement or change in character they show the lack of it. instead show routine.

i love nature ie the natural setting but also atmosphere, climate, weather everything being important to scenes. and not just because they give a context/background to action.

i love friendship. thats an important one, actually. it doesnt have to be overt and articulated but even just the sense of knowing and belonging between people.

thats mostly all i can think of. and pain, of course!! especially in poetry and music, pain and repression are my best buddies that i love to see out. lmfao. hope i somewhat answered your question! <3