i'm really sorry and trust me when i tell you i know how hard it is... but ultimately you are the only person who can decide if you should still go or not. i wish i could tell you being at tds3 as someone who loves renjun isn't tough, but it is. like, really fucking tough. i would love to tell you that you should go without doubt 100% and that it is a 100% positive experience and that i have no regrets, but i can't in good faith tell you that, knowing how hard it is; you have to be willing to accept that hardship... i was really thinking about him the entire time, and i know i will be for all the other shows i'm going to. it's hard not to look at them and wonder how it might be if he were there too. i will say there is something healing about being around other people who you know miss renjun just as much as you do... i just don't want you to make this decision solely on the basis of "feeling too bad not going and supporting the others", you aren't a better or worse fan of dream for being not being able to enjoy (or, conversely, being able to enjoy) dream in his absence. i do think it's important to show up as renjun fans and continue to show our love and support for him even when he can't physically be there, but only do it if you think you can handle it, please always put yourself first. if you think it will hurt too much to go then it's okay to not go, but again, you are the only person who can make that decision for yourself