aaaa honestly this message stayed in my inbox so long because i kept rereading it and every reply i typed felt inadequate :’) i can’t express how much this message means to me and how grateful i am to you 🥹 honestly, stories like what you’ve described are my favorite kind to write. i just love delving into the emotions and minuscule complexities of life that people face, even when it’s not maybe the most interesting thing on the surface. i think a lot of our worst struggles are internal, so i guess i tend to lean more towards that narrative in my writing. life is hard :’) but i love being able to write about it through the lens of someone that i really want to be happy. the end goal of masquerade was never to just grotesquely describe how much those two characters are causing each other to suffer, but to highlight the very real and very confusing challenges that come with accepting yourself and what you want from the world. i tried very hard not to romanticize the underlying issues of their relationship (though i know a lot of people would disagree lol) because it would take away from the actual story being told. so im always so thankful to readers who understand the real premise and meaning of the narrative

to answer your question, i read a lot of abstract/surrealist realistic fiction! i like books that sort of subvert reality in a way where the lines are blurred between what’s happening in the protagonist’s mind and what’s actually taking place in real life. i also really like low science fiction, where something just fantastical enough to be abnormal is a key element of the story because it gives the writer more possibilities in their medium. here are some recommendations that kind of highlight what i’m talking about!

the woman in the purple skirt by natsuko imamuta
lonely hearts killer by tomoyuki hoshino
we, the children of cats by tomoyuki hoshino
the memory police by yoko ogawa
we do not part by han kang
the 7 and 1/2 deaths of eleven hardcastle by stuart turton

thank you again so much for writing this message 💓 ily and i hope you’re doing well ><

what- what do i…yeonkai?? Everything 😥 they…everything???? okay but in all seriousness i’ve been a loud yeonkaist for a very long time and when i got into writing fic for tubatu it was in 2021(?) so yeonkai’s relationship at the time was so wholesome and lovely. i think i loved their dynamic so much because yeonjun was so nurturing towards kai at this time and it was just really charming because at the same time kai was very clearly trying to be taken seriously as an adult lol. and in order to make this transition with his on camera persona it really looked like he used yeonjun as a way to step into his own maturity because he knew yeonjun would support him (this is all totally speculative btw i don’t want to sound like i know them personally im just observing what inspired me to write fic hsjsjs) so he started flirting with yeonjun on camera to project himself into a more mature image. and then that became the norm for them which is crazyyy. genuinely though i just love their dynamic together. i love what they bring out in each other and how they’ve grown together. i feel like being around kai both allows yeonjun to nurture and to play if that makes sense? he’s not embarrassed to have fun and be a little immature around him, but that’s because there’s a comfortability they both have with each other. yeonjun is always there to praise kai when he feels down on himself, he’ll drop everything if kai is having a struggle, he’s the biggest advocate for his dance, and he’ll always open his arms for him. conversely, i feel like yeonjun embraced kai’s growing up quite well and allows him to nurture and protect him in his own way. i think of little things like how kai always shields yeonjun with his own body in games, how kai comes to yeonjun’s solo shoots with treats and support, and how he never misses an opportunity to compliment him. they’re just very solid pillars for each other and i think they bring out the best in each other. of course they’re doubly fun to write fic for now that they’ve got a cute size difference thing going on but that’s just a bonus lol

hi i started to answer this question and wrote a ton and then it all accidentally got deleted and i got really sad about it but im here again with energy to rewrite my response 🫡 im really sorry about the delay 🙏

my writing process starts out pretty simple honestly! i just don’t feel like it’s very interesting but id be happy to talk about it~ usually i get a random idea that really inspires me (i just think of one scene and the whole story spirals from there). once its sat in my head long enough and convinced me it might be fic worthy, i write out a more detailed synopsis. this doesn’t start out as a very useful resource lol usually it’s me outlining the ~vibes~ of what im wanting to capture. from there, i create more detailed work ups of the characters (histories, motivations, relationships, etc) and this is usually a good place to track how i expect them to evolve throughout the story.

once i have those things outlined, i usually know enough to summarize the main plot points of the story, like beats i know i want to hit and that make up the basic skeleton, so i add that to my synopsis just so i can reference it whenever im stuck. its sort of like a roadmap, no matter what happens in between i need to stay on track with those points. at that point, i also usually have an ending in mind but its almost never the ending i end up using lol. if you look at my notes, i’ll always have a little note in the synopsis like “if it were up to me, it would end like this but no one would like that so instead this is the ending”.

i also make sure that i jot down any particular themes, motifs, symbols etc that come to me in the creative process so i don’t forget and can weave them into the narrative naturally. a big part of my process has to do with establishing a musical connection as well, so i always create a very detailed in depth playlist full of music that inspires me and relates to the story. i don’t always share the playlist because i don’t think it’s very good? and it’s usually not made up of music i listen to on a regular basis.

once all those things are done i start writing! i don’t write chronologically. i feel like if i have a good enough grasp on my characters and the story direction, it doesn’t matter what order the scenes are written in. i already have all the context as the creator, and if something comes up in the writing process that i know will be important to circle back to narratively and keep as a thread, i’ll either make a note or just take care of it right away. i reread my own work a lot in the process to check for consistency even if i don’t really like reading back my writing, because i want to make sure all my threads get tied up. so i always write whatever scene im called to write at the time, and i feel comfortable jumping around the timeline. sometimes i’ll be in the mood to do cleanup work, which is just connecting scenes with intuitive transitions and filling out the more boring but necessary pieces.

and then it’s basically done! not very interesting but that’s what the process looks like. i hope this answers your question okay ><~