hey love. tbh i spent a while trying to think of an answer to this question because that is also my situation in life rn. it took me so many years to accept my queerness, it took me almost 8 years to get to where im at right now. i used to cry and pray that these feelings go away, i used to pray that it's just a phase but it wasn't.

i finally accepted it but unfortunately i am aware that because of my environment and my upbringing i will never truly be able to live the way i want to, and present myself the way i wish to, and i accepted that.

what got to me to accept myself was actually, believe it or not, my online friends. my online space became so comforting and safe, a place i can finally be free in (not entirely free unfortunately but that's another topic) i finally have friends who accept me, who know me. i have to pretend in real life, but i never have to online and that helped me come to terms with everything.

idk how to help you overcome your denial, it's truly different for everyone, i can just hope that you can feel comfortable with yourself in the near future. religious denial is a nasty bitch and til this day im not over it, and it's been 10 years... i dont think ill ever be over it.