anonnie hello!!! and thank you, it did hehe i hope ur doing okay too. and i personally love this question actually bc it's Me so ofc i have Thoughts.

i'm doing this by fanchant order to be organized SO

with soobin i feel like it can go two ways and it depends entirely on when he's first seen; he either gives university sunbae who you meet by chance at the freshman mixer he was cajoled into helping organize by either yeonjun or beomgyu and he's not even in the main throng of activity. he's decidedly Away from it, actually. so stuck in his own corner it looks almost comical, sarcastically separate. but he's striking. he's hunched over in a hoodie and loose jeans and he's speaking quietly with someone, nursing a red cup and looking like the perfect picture of a charming wallflower. and somehow, every time you see him in passing on campus from then on is exactly like that; like he's steeped in something so achingly nostalgic---a dying party, a school function, a backyard bonfire. warm and purple-sheened and covered in gaussian blur. you never really get to meet him in a way that matters, but you tuck him away in your chest to bring out on days where the workload is too much, the looming deadlines so heavy. he's a sweet, dreamboat-shaped dream.

either that or he's someone you know Too Much, Too Well. you grew up with him, really. his house was next to yours and your dads were best friends so you basically had a built-in playmate before you even understood what it meant to be a friend. he's summers spent huddling together in front of the one working electric fan in your house, sweat-sticky and a little gross but too heat-struck to care. he's shared lemonade on the walk home from cram school, his tie always done wrong no matter how many times you teach him how to do it right. he's near-incomprehensible inside jokes and drooling on each other's shoulders during sleepovers and knowing Everything about each other. he's your first kiss. you watched him break his left buttcheek in sixth grade. he's how you found out about romantic love at all. he once ran into your bedroom door when he was eight and slammed his face hard enough that he lost his last baby tooth, blood running down his mouth in an open geyser. you worry sometimes, who you'd be if you didn't love him. you know Everything about each other, but this is the one secret you let yourself keep.

yeonjun to me is very firmly The Hottest Guy In Your Highschool. his social network is vast and many-branched and he seems to be Everywhere. he's the class representative for the annual art competition. he's in the dance troupe performing for the school anniversary festival. he's taken on as a singer during the battle of the bands. there's something simultaneously so sharp and so soft about him because if his face is neutral he looks like he could kill you but you've seen him smile and it curls so sweetly over his face and it's almost like staring right into the sun. the dynamism is so magnetic, and you just can't help but look at him each time you see him. it's like he casts everything into shadow. you're lucky enough to be in his orbit, if tangentially. you've hung out a few times, but you're closer to his other friends an it's difficult to be brave in highschool. but you know him enough to know that he's Kind, in the way that matters most. he's not just Nice. nice can be so deceiving. niceties could conceal something dirtier and meaner. he isn't like that. he's all golden, all gilded, all shot through with sunlight.

beomgyu to me is just. So Soft. falling in love with beomgyu is just soft landing after soft landing, no matter how far the jump and no matter how deep it keeps going. he's tentative conversations held over coffee (he was the other regular who always took the table next to yours) and song recommendations and playlist upon playlist shared between a single pair of earphones. he's a poem that you read once and think about for three weeks. he's the scarf you leave over the lip of the couch armrest that you use as an excuse to linger in the doorway, to come back, to step through the threshold once more, /call me back in, please call me back in./ he's every tender almost that sits in your chest like a warm burn. he's pinkies that brush over passed cups. he's the sun lying low in the sky, that final hurrah of daylight and the ensuing pink-blue-violet of dusk. he's every lovely thought, every saved post-it note of sweet nothings. he's also midnight, and black velvet, and thoughts that drip like syrup through fingers.

taehyun has always screamed summer love to me. he's wet hair and sun in eyes and undying belief in the boundless potential of summer. there's something so optimistic about taehyun in love. so altogether sweet and salty and sour. tangy, tart. it's this simmer in your gut, like you're about to cough up glitter. like the drink you just downed is warming you up from the inside and you've caught his eye across the way and he's staring at you over the rim of his own glass. but it's also the sweat in your palms as he smiles so wide it damn near splits his face. his face is so open when he smiles, so sweet, so innocent. and it's such a headrush, knowing that you made him do that. he's long nights spent with sand up to your ankles just /talking/ bc he's so interesting and you could listen to him talk forever. i always think of that one siken line whenever i see taehyun for some reason "so it's summer, so it's suicide," and isn't that so fitting for the boy with the sun in his eyes. summer and its endlessness and it has you swept up in supreme belief---that all will be well, that this won't end as soon as the season changes and you all have to go home, that these hands are not just hands, not just bodies, not just mouths.

kai to me is so boy next door that it Aches So Sweetly. he was always the polite, quiet boy in a brood of comparatively outgoing sisters. his mother is lovely, always offered you and your family jam preserves during the summer when strawberries were in season. he played a lot of instruments but you would most often hear piano coming from his house whenever you walked past on your way home. he'd be on the porch sometimes, and you would muster up the courage to wave whenever you saw him. he's shy smiles and standing in tall grass as the sun set. he's sitting next to you in the backyard, and you have never felt so aware of distance before, of the space between your air and his. every move significant, every minute motion accounted for. begging that you don't breathe wrong lest it ruin things. the weight of him sits in your chest so sweetly, an ache you feel pulsing in the root of your jaw, and you had never known love to be this heady, the bite of it so intoxicating. to be so twitterpated and so torn asunder at the same time.

okay this got so long i'm SO sorry but........HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS.......HOPE THEY'RE FUN TO READ........