omg anon i'm so sorry for this late reply i did not see this until now hsdfkhsf ur right tho, it really is so weird when u think about it in that way. i'm not sure i fit into either side of it either. it's like i have long stretches of sadness with little moments of happiness then long stretches where i'm just content, sprinkled with little bits of sadness. it sucks that happiness isn't always a given. but i think thinking of ur life in this kind of way can make u feel worse about it. whatever ur default is is UR normal u know? that's what matters. how u handle it and how u make the most of it. cherish the happy moments whenever they happen and try to think more positively. of course that's easier said than done. and i don't even do that myself all the time lol but we only got one life so i think we have to do what we can to enjoy it. i hope u can find some happiness in the little things anon, even if it seems impossible. ur normal and ur human even if ur "default" is being sad all the time. u deserve happiness too. 🩷