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exactlyyy you get it! completely agree that he's a guarded individual and the acid trip with kakavasha & acheron was a extreme situation that he is unlikely to ever just naturally expose. it's another reason why i think a companion quest with TB wouldn't have worked for him & why his backstory is told omnipresent rather than to someone else. it's also extremely weird to jump into romance/sex with him without considering how fucked up he is and most of all? it's BORING! imagining churin feeling UNCOMFORTABLE about being cuddled for instance. i hate how That part of fandom puts him into this poor wittle uke box where he is the subject of being coddled and loved
(usually by the dr) & that's all little kakavasha needs to HEAL and be HAPPY FOREVER. it's so fucking cringe but it's also so ridiculously idealistic like a 12yo's yaoi fanfic lol. in general, i don't like the fandom assumption that churin is ultimately looking to be pitied or seeking kindness from others because of his tragic backstory bc that is kinda insane from the guy who isn't all that kind to others himself when you get down to it lol.
my hc is that i think churin doesn't know how to respond to kindness. from how his line abt paying back the ppl from planet xxx from his character story, he HAD experienced other's kindness and its not a unique treatment that he only gets from drrat. problem is, he doesn't know how to reciprocate cuz he seemingly never had the chance. my hc is that he thinks receiving kindness is another kind of luck for him, but this luck seems to never extend beyond himself. he does want to use it for the benefit of those who had helped him.
unless its like madam jades brand of kindness. he makes snide remarks abt it but continues to accept it which makes me think that at least he knows how to handle it as long as there's a way he can pay her back. it's great it's transactional it's cold but so familiar. i wanna see how he reacts to pity tho
he's also much more familiar with being treated with disdain but i think he has long since grown thicker skin and in fact uses the stereotypes and prejudice to his advantage. he's not the poor bullied newbie in the company like others make it out to be. he wouldn't have risen up the ranks otherwise if remarks like that get to him. he hardly even blinked when sparkle deliberately said incendiary remarks about his race. he said it himself use him backstab him do whatever u see fit he doesn't give s shit.
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