Hi! I feel incredibly bad for you but I just want to let you know this is not the most pleasant askall. I don't want to be rude but this is very personal things that I feel as if should be told to close friends, not to everyone that can access your rs. though I totally get where you're coming from, having an online father figure will not fix anything and will only make you sadder to know you have to resort to those things. I only want the best when I tell you this, please reconsider posting these things on a platform like rs